I'm Just a Bartender!
by wookiee.cookie
Summary: I was on my way home when everything went wrong. Thankfully, an angel in the form of a cosplayer came to my rescue. Well, I thought she was a cosplayer that is...
1. Chapter 1

Reviews are always appreciated and Naruto isn't mine!

This is a self insert story that is rated M for a reason!

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Chapter 1

I had just finished my shift at Club Sundown and I'm exhausted. 10 hours... 10 fucking hours of migraine inducing music, disgusting body odor, and drunken perverts. Bartending can definitely be a pain in the ass to say the least, but boy did it pay. Especially when you work in a dance club like Sundown. It's really popular, but I do have to be careful. Like right now I am walking towards my motorcycle in a huge empty parking lot with a wad of tip money in my purse just waiting to get robbed. Dayton, Ohio at 5 in the morning? Definitely not safe, which is why I recently bought a tazer for some protection. I haven't had to use it yet thank goodness but you never know.

As I am walking to the bike I took out my keys and began sorting through the random key chains. Man, I have way too many of these but I love to collect them... Oh there's the key. When I got to my bike I opened the side bag to take out my black helmet. Then I placed my purse inside the pouch before I latched it shut. Before I was able to put my helmet on, a hand grabbed my wrist. 'Shit' I looked to the owner of the hand and found a man reeking of alcohol. The guy looks to be in his thirties with plain (slightly balding) brown hair and small black eyes. He started to slur before coming up with something legible.

"Hiya pretty laaaadddyyy, you know. I couldn't *hiccup* s-stop staring at you all night. Maybe we should head to my place and see where the night takes us." He wiggled his eye brows suggestively, as if I didn't already know what he is talking about. 'Nope, nope, nope, nnooppee.'

"I'm sorry but I have to get home! My BOYFRIEND is waiting for me." No, I do not have a boyfriend but he doesn't know that I only live with a cat. Usually this scares off most of the dumb ass drunks, sadly this one is persistent.

"Oh he doesn't have to know, come on and live a little. I won't tell him I promise, sugar tits." He tried to wrap his arms around me so I stepped away. Did he just call me SUGAR TITS?

"No thanks I'm not interested, now if you will excuse me..." He slapped my face...HARD. Well that escalated quickly.

"I don't think you understand, you are coming home with me babes, NOW." Fuck I'm such an idiot. The tazer is in the purse! I tried to scream, so he clamped his hand on my mouth. I bit down making him pull his injured hand back but then he punched me in the eye. I cupped the side of my face before I ran as fast as I could towards Sundown. 'Oh please may the bouncer still be there, oh please may the bouncer STILL BE THERE! WHY THE FUCK DID I PARK SO FAR AWAY!' I heard his foot steps catch up to me before I was tackled to the ground. I felt my palms and face scrap against the pavement and I know I'm bleeding. The attacker grabbed my shoulder, then flipped me around so I'd face him. He started trying to pin my wrists but my right hand went straight into his pants.

"Ah you finally get it baby cakes, there's no point trying to fffiiiIIIIIGGGHHHHTTTT AW FUCK!" My hand clenched down on his balls. Panicked, he started punching my right shoulder making me release my grip. His body rolled off of me after I had let go so I took the opportunity to start running again. His hand wrapped around my ankle, causing me to fall on my sore face... AGAIN. I looked back towards him and damn is he LIVID. Screw you I'm not going down without a fight, ass wipe. I started kicking at his face hoping to get a hit in but he jumped up to avoid my foot. I tried to scramble again, until I heard a click from behind me. Shit... all my previous bravado dissapeared and I stopped struggling.

"Oh now you've done it bitch. I was hoping for some privacy but this will have to do. You have till the count of 3 to get on those little whore knees of yours. 1..." I got up with my hands above my head. I felt tears pour down my face as I turned to face him. 'Fuck I can't fight against a GUN. It's game over now. DAMN IT!' He held a very menacing smile while he continued his countdown. "2..." He laughed as I got on my knees, bowing my head in defeat. 'I can't believe this, I'm about to get VIOLATED by this jerk and there is nothing I can do. I can die sure, but I don't want to die yet. I'm too scared to die. WAIT, maybe some one will see us and help! If I just buy myself some time I may get rescued and survive this... Yea, I mean we are in the middle of a parking lot!'

"Good girl, now you are going to suck on this dick and if you dare bite it, I'll blow your fucking brains out. *hiccup*" I heard him trudge closer and unzip his pants. He yanked my hair, making me look straight at his disgusting manhood. All my hope just vanished, I couldn't help but start bawling... 'Awh who am I kidding! No one's coming, just think happy thoughts girl! At least it isn't big right? You can do this just take it and live to see another day. Go to your happy place, GO TO YOUR HAPPY PLACE!'

"Now sugar..." A huge crash rang out through the parking lot and my attacker disappeared from sight, taking some of my hair with him. 'What the hell?' I looked around to see what had happened, only to find him unconscious on my right with someone's foot still on his face. I glanced up towards my savior and what I found is definitely not what I expected. My hero is a woman dressed up as one of the most powerful female character from Naruto, Konan. Did I just get saved...by a woman in cosplay? Well screw it beggars can't be choosers. I started wiping away my tears and I heard her speak.

"I need you to come with me." I nodded my head and got up.

"Uh yea sure, T-t-t-thank you...for helping." She didn't acknowledge my thanks at all.

"Your name?" Dang She is the best Konan I've ever met. She looks just like her...even the voice is right!

"Valentina Smith, but people usually call me Valentine. You?" The woman gave me a hard glare as we began walking.

"That is non of your concern." Wow she takes cosplay to a new level. We are heading back in the direction of my bike and I saw that 7 more people were standing around, ALL in cosplay. I didn't think there was an anime con around. 'Crap, they all saw that didnt they?' My cheeks flushed red. When we reached to our destination the one dressed as Pein lifted my fallen keys, holding my favorite Akatsuki cloud key chain. I looked at him straight in the eye. Holy crap this guy is actually pierced JUST LIKE PEIN.

"Uh yes can I help you?" He glared at me so I raised an eyebrow. "What, it's a key chain."

"Who gave you this, I never authorized it." I awarded him a are-you-fucking-kidding-me look. They really take this serious. Well 'Konan' just saved me so i guess I'll play along with their little game.

"I bought that from a comic book store on the other side of town." 'Pein' scoffed.

"You bought this symbol, from a STORE. Do you take me for a fool? Now tell me WHO gave you this or I will force you to tell me. Painfully if necessary." NOW this is getting too far. I glared and tried to snatch my keys. Surprisingly, he let me.

"Ok I have to admit the costumes are pretty awesome. The acting is really good as well, but don't threatened me. I appreciate the help, really I do, but I'm heading HOME. Later." 'Pein' grabbed my arm. Are you kidding I just got away from one asshole...now this?

"Such insolence, what do you mean acting and costume? Do you know who I am!?" I jerked on my arm but to no avail. Oh FUCK YOU DICK!

"Some nerd who THINKS he's Pein from the fucking Akatsuki now let go FREAK."

*smack* C'MON! I probably have bruises all over my face now!

"Ooooooooowwwwwwww, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?" And how is NO ONE hearing this!?

"Hold your tongue before I cut it out. How do you know who I am? Explain." I looked at the other cosplayers.

"Are you really going to let him do this!? What the hell is wrong with you people." 'Hidan' sneered.

"I think we should have just let that guy rape you and then killed ya both, heathen." ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. I glared at all of them in disbelief, till my eyes finally focused on 'Kisame'. 'Huh?' I'm stunned stupid, blatantly I stared at him for a good 15 seconds before I snapped back to my senses.

"T-t-t-t-there's n-n-n-no way." Kisame chuckled.

"Oh I see you finally understand your situation." There is no way ANYONE can look like that! His skin is almost leather-like with WORKING GILLS. The eyes are also unnaturally round with a glassy look I've only seen on fish... and when he smiles his teeth are fucking serrated. He is so realistically SHARK-LIKE that...awh hell that it CAN'T be cosplay. I stared back at THE Pein

"B-but that's impossible, you are suppose to...to be FAKE. A FUCKING STORY!" The Akatsuki went completely silent.

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	2. Chapter 2

Reviews are always appreciated and Naruto isn't mine!

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Chapter 2

Itachi is the first one to recover from my out burst. "It seems like you have a lot to tell us girl..." Deidara snorted.

"You think!? Damn Uchiha always pointing out the obvious! Hmph!" Sasori cuffed him and mumbled what seemed like 'brat' under his breath while Kakuzu had to stitch Hidan's mouth shut to keep him from screaming like a mad man. Pein's grip tightned on my arm forcing my attention back at him.

"You will take us to your residence and we will set up our temporary base of operations there. Once finished you will be interrogated for any information you hold. If you even try to escape or call help at any point I will have Kisame cut of your legs and kill whoever comes to retrieve you." I gulped, when did my throat get so dry again?

"Y-y-y-yes sir. Uh." I pointed to my bike. "I need to ride on that, is t-t-that ok?" Pein sighed but gave a short nod as he let his grip fall from my arm. Then I remembered...

"Uh, Leader? There is one more thing you should probably know." Pein crossed his arms. 'I feel like I'm about to piss myself.'

"And that is?" I cleared my throat, trying to get rid some of the tension in my body.

"Well shinobi don't exist here sir... if you are spotted panic is sure to ensue...NOT THAT YOU GUYS CAN'T HANDLE IT! It's just-!" Pein lifted a hand to silence me and my hysteria is at an all time high.

"Akatsuki, If I hear that any of you are sighted punishment will be severe. We already have enough to worry about and drawing attention to ourselves will only make things worse. Now let's go." I took that as my signal to retrieve my helmet. Once on, I quickly straddled my bike and started the ignition. Many of the Akatsuki jumped at the loud sound of the engine but they were quick to compose themselves after they got over the shock. I nodded at Leader before I drove off into the city. 'I can't believe this is fucking happening. I almost get raped by an asshole and just when I thought I was safe. Boom, I'm more screwed than before!' Don't get me wrong, I think the Akatsuki are some of the most bad ass characters in Naruto...but I'm not fool enough to think they wouldn't kill me in an instant, or worse. 'No, I know EXACTLY what these people are capable of and some of their 'hobbies' are by far the most disturbing, grotesque, and heinous things ever conjured up. Sasori fucking turns people into puppets for crying out loud! And now they are REAL!? How the hell does that happen!? Damn it, I'm so dead...Wait...ITACHI! OH THANK GOD THERE STILL MIGHT BE HOPE. If I help him he may return the favor and convince them to spare my life! He is a good guy in disguise right!? Ok just don't try to piss them off Valentine...you can do it! Just keep the temper down and turn up the charm!' A new feeling of hope sprang in my chest as I rode into my neighborhood. 'Oh my gosh I may have a chance, but I need to be careful.'

If I'm not I WILL die...

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It took us about 15 minutes to reach my home. (I live in a small 2 bedroom brick house at the outskirts of Dayton, it's nothing special but it works for me.) I parked on the roadside behind my rusty car and packed everything up in the side pouch of the bike, making sure I grabbed my purse wtih the tip money. 'I have a feeling that any cash is going to come in handy soon, so I better not lose it.' While I was packing the Akatsuki landed all around me except for Itachi and Kisame. I guess they are searching my property for any traps. 'As if I could set up traps. Ppppfftt.' All of the other members are ignoring me besides Sasori, who walked up to examine my bike.

"I must say this technology is very impressive, at first we had no clue what these things were until Itachi pointed out the people inside them. That said, the other ones are larger and built differently than the one you just rode. Tell me, what are they called." He glanced up at me and I smiled back. 'Time to start kissing some major ass. Sasori is crazy but at the same time he is reasonable. He's a puppet user so mechanical info may put me on his no-kill list.'

"Oh those bigger ones are called cars," I pointed to my old grey Bug. "the one I rode is a motorcycle. Believe it or not we actually have vehicles that can fly as well." That intrigued him and I couldn't help but grin. 'Sasori-my-man you are so predictable.'

"Impossible, this world has no chakra. Leader and Itachi confirmed that." I laughed causing Sasori to glare. 'Shit.'

"S-sorry about that, I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around this. Well um, they don't run on chakra. I can pull up a video sometime, if you want that is." Sasori calmed down, then nodded and returned to examining my bike. 'That was close. What if they decide to kill me anyways once they find out what I know? I mean many of the secrets I hold people want taken to the grave. People like the Akatsuki, Danzo, and Orochimaru... fuck. They are suppose to be characters from a MANGA, maybe Kishimoto is a fucking prophet! Ugh too much is happening, I can't think about this right now!' I face palmed earning me a couple of looks. 'Damn it I have a head ache.'

"Clear." Itachi and Kisame appeared out of no where scaring the crap out of me. I clenched a hand to my chest trying to calm down my heart. Hidan is clearly enjoying my struggle. When I started walking he pushed me into the grass then continued to walk away cackling like a psychopath.

"Bitch you are so WEAK it's hilarious!" I glared at his back while I dusted off my pants. Obviously, I didn't say anything. I have to bide my time and pissing him off is a good way to get sacrificed. So I seethed in silence. 'Damn asshole, I'll get you back just you fucking wait. Somehow, someway, I WILL GET YOU BASTARD.' We entered my home and the moment the door shut all of the Akatsuki froze. (except me, Itachi, and Kisame.)

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING!?" I allowed myself a smug grin as Hidan and Deidara freaked out. 'Let the games begin.'

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	3. Chapter 3

Reviews are always appreciated and Naruto isn't mine!

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Chapter 3

Right in front of us, sitting pretty, is my adorable cat Sekhmet. A pale hairless sphynx with one green eye and one blue eye. Pein glared at Itachi then pointed at her.

"What is that disgusting creature." I gasped and scooped Sekhmet into my arms.

"My CAT, she's harmless I swear! Aren't you, my pretty little girl!" I snuggled my face into her's causing her to purr. Kakuzu stared at my cat with calculating eyes.

"I've never seen an animal like that, tell me how much is it worth?" I laughed nervously. 'Damn he's going to take my kitty and sell her.'

"Eh heheh sorry, I don't know from the top of my head. I got her from a rescue shelter and the prices there are the same for all cats no matter the breed." Pein is getting frustrated.

"Enough, this is not the time to be discussing the value of a hideous house cat." I couldn't stop myself from scoffing.

"She is an INDIVIDUAL. Don't listen to him Sekhmet!" I used one hand to push her ears down.

"That thing even has a fucking ugly name." Of course that's Hidan...

"What! No it isn't she's named after the Egyptian g-" Pein is pissed.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S NAME MEANS, NOW MOVE BEFORE I KILL YOU." 'SHIT, SHIT, SHHHIIIIITTT.'

I bolted into my living, still holding my pussy. I have a full sized blue couch with a matching love seat but I barely ever use them. My cream colored carpet is way more comfortable if you ask me. So keeping with routine, I sat down directly in the middle of the floor snuggling my cat for comfort. Pein went straight for the love seat and sat before me. Konan stood beside him while the other members could be found haphazardly lounging around the room. 'Ok, answer their questions honestly. They will know if your lying so it's pointless. You don't want to get tortured either so don't be a smart ass again.' Pein spoke out in a clearly frustrated voice.

"Now that everything has SETTLED, it's time to start your interrogation. You knew who I was without proper introduction and called us fake. You also said something about a story..." He paused and I realized he wants me to fill the blank.

"Uh yea, it's actually a graphic novel or manga to be more precise. They also made an animated show over it as well." Pein actually went wide eyed.

"Do you understand how ridiculous this sounds? Where is your proof!?" 'SHIT, I never bought any merchandise!'

"Uh I read some of the manga in a book store and didn't buy any of the shows..." 'I just watched them on the internet... Think quick...got it!' "But if you would like I can name anyone in this room, even describe their jutsu." Pein, still wide eyed, pointed towards a random member.

"Kakuzu, you're a pioneer in immorality and have five hearts that produce all five chakra natures. Am I correct?" Kakuzu nodded at me.

"You are, impressive." I beamed at the compliment. 'So far, so good.'

"You can also produce what seems like threads to extend your reach and trap your opponents. On a side note you are able to use said threads to sew up body parts. In the story that was used to sew back Hidan's head after it got chopped off. " Kakuzu didn't move but his eyes said it all. Hidan let out a low whistle.

"Damn, she got you Kakuzu." I looked towards Hidan with a smirk.

"You are also an immortal that worships a god by the name of Jashin." Hidan's jaw dropped. "Your juts-...RITUAL involves you forming the symbol of Jashin and consuming the blood of your enemy. When these steps are finished all you have to do is stay in the circle and any harm done to you is also done to the victim." Hidan was silent. 'That's hard to do.'

"Unbelievable...this can't be true." I looked back towards Leader.

"That's what I thought, but here you are." Pein snapped up and grabbed the front of my shirt. Sekhmet then ran away, never being one to fight.

"Who made this story, what is it called, who else do you have information on besides us, what did it say would happen? How many people know about this!? ANSWER!" I winced at his loud tone.

"Hold on I'll tell you! One at a time please!" He dropped me on my ass.

"Fine, what is the name of the story?" I gulped. 'This is not going to go well. Damn it!'

"N-naruto, the name of the story is Naruto." The room went into an uproar just as I thought.

"ISN'T THAT THE FUCKING NINE TAIL HEATHEN!"

"I have lived nearly a century, and this is by far the craziest thing I've ever heard."

"MY ART IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT TRASH! HMPH.'

"BRAT, YOUR ART IS A JOKE! NOW SHUT UP!"

"Well this is a strange turn of events huh, Itachi."

"I would have to agree with you, Kisame."

"Leader, what should we do with her? She isn't lying so that means she holds dangerous information. Especially now that she knows we exist." Leader took a deep breath.

"SILENCE."...does anyone else hear the cricket in the background? No, just me?

"Girl, as I said before who else do you have information on?" 'Well...that's kind of vague.'

"Anyone in particular?" Pein nodded.

"Orochimaru, he's the reason we are here. He betrayed us at a meeting and preformed a mass transportation jutsu. I want to know what you have on him."

"Really?" Well that explains something at least. "That's weird, in the story he left when he failed to defeat Itachi and retrieve the Sharingan." Pein tensed.

"He did attack Itachi, we were having the meeting to decide his fate." 'That didn't happen in the anime...and isn't it a little cocky to assume he wouldn't have done something like that!? Whatever, I'll ponder it later, I have more important things right now.'

"Ok, has Orochimaru founded the Hidden Sound Village?' Pein kneeled down eye level, intrigued.

"Sasori's spy network picked up some rumors of him forming a new village but that was never proven. The Sound Village you say?" I nodded. 'Dang how far back are they?'

"Yes, he he uses it to lure in ninja trying to flee from the five great nations. He then...experiments on them. The Hidden Sound in reality, is a huge laboratory." Pein seemed thoughtful for a moment before standing up.

"You are some use to us. Itachi, extract the rest of what she knows." 'OH NO! Fuck they are going to drain me of every bargaining chip I have and kill me! Son of a bitch, I knew this could happen but I actually thought I had a chance regardless! I'm such a dumb ass!' My body froze in place, 'I couldn't win against a DRUNK let alone the ITACHI. He's even worse than a GUN. DAMN IT WHY CAN'T FATE CUT ME A BREAK!' I started silently crying, looking at my hands as if they held the answers to all my problems. 'I'm defenseless again, why can't I win for a change! My whole life has been nothing but failure and now I'm going to die when things finally started looking up. Please, don't make this worse than it has to be Itachi. I beg you.' His fingers touched my tear soaked cheeks and gently pulled my face up making me look into his eyes, almost like a lover. They are black but shifted into the three tomoe sharingan, then the Mangekyo. 'They are so pretty...even though they hold so much guilt...' I didn't resist, there isn't any point... I just sat there and waited to enter the Tsukuyomi. I stared into his eyes for what seemed like forever...but nothing ever happened. His eyes even started to bleed as he over-exerted himself. 'No fucking way...' Itachi pulled back and Pein raised raised an eye brow.

"Are you finished? If so, Hidan..."

"No Leader, I'm sorry but I couldn't get the information." Pein sneered.

"Why not UCHIHA." Itachi turned away and faced Pein.

"Her body not only doesn't have chakra, it repels it. Making her completely immune to genjutsu, sir." 'FUCK YES! OH HALLELUJAH!'

"Then just force it out of her, by any means necessary." 'ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?'

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	4. Chapter 4

Reviews are always appreciated and Naruto isn't mine!

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Chapter 4

"Leader if I may, I think I have a better idea." 'THANK YOU ITACHI I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU!'

"And that is?" Pein crossed his arms, but gave Itachi his full undivided attention.

"Why not let her live and keep the information? As the Akatsuki's informant." Pein narrowed his eyes.

"That's ridiculous, what makes you think she is more capable of holding those secrets than any of the Akatsuki?"

"She is immune to the ultimate genjutsu of the Uchiha...and since her body repels chakra so I highly doubt anyone could use jutsu to probe her mind. How many of the Akatsuki can say the same?" Pein shook his head.

"The Akatsuki can protect themselves from being captured in the first place. If she is caught by the enemy and tortured her abilities are useless." Sasori stepped in. 'YES!'

"Leader I see where Itachi is going with this. Even though we are powerful we have just been shown we are not invincible. It is possible to make a seal that can silence her if she ever tries to leak information and if we place something like that on this girl...The secrets in her possession would be untouchable by anyone other than the Akatsuki. I think that kind of security is worth the trouble." 'That sounds like Danzo's seal... hold on, wouldn't this mean I would have to go back with them!?' "Also on top of everything else we are in an unfamiliar world where societies laws are foreign to us. With her help we can stay undetected a lot easier. That alone is reason enough to keep her alive." Leader started rubbing his temples.

"I agree that blending in with these people would be easier but I don't think that's reason enough not to kill her. Also if her body repels chakra from entering how would a seal be effective." Sasori placed his chin on his hand to think.

"She repels the seal from forming on her person, yes, but what about a piece of jewelry? It would have to be placed close to her mouth so it can react to her voice but it will work." 'Oh my gosh, they are going to tag me like livestock and move me away!...SCREW IT.' I stood up to get their attention.

"I-I know a guy down town...he can pierce my tongue if that's what you want." Sasori nodded.

"Yes, that is preferable." Konan decided to speak.

"Are you saying you will do this, no struggle?" I looked at her straight in the eyes. She seems a little shocked that I'm not resisting.

"I'm not going to act all fucking heroic and say I would die before helping you, that'd be lying. I only have one life and I won't give it up so easily. If I have to do this to keep going, so be it." I heard Kisame chuckle from the background.

"I already like this one, she's honest. I agree with them leader it's a good idea." Pein nodded.

"Does anyone oppose?" No one said anything, not even Hidan.

"You will go to this person as soon as possible and we will have someone watching you at all times until the seal is placed. This interrogation is over." 'Well that was fast...but hey I'm going to live! Even though I'll be the Akatsuki's informant bitch I'm going to live! FUCK YEA!' I let myself sigh in relief.

"Alrighty then, is there anything you guys need because I've had a rough day and I'm exhausted." I yawned for emphasis.

"Food?" I looked at Deidara.

"Shit, and I should probably get beds..." I glanced at their attire. "Also suitable clothes for this world. Those are going to draw too much attention. Ffffuucccckkkkk... *sigh*" 'Part of your job is making sure they stay undetected so you better start now.' "Alright Konan, I'm pretty sure I've got you covered but everyone else will have to wait." Her body is waaayy more curvy than mine. She is also taller than me, but I love to lounge around home in extra baggy clothing so I should be able to pull enough outfits for her. "I'm going to have to make a trip to Walmart."

"Where are you going to get the money for all this? And what's this 'Walmart?" Of course, Kakuzu.

"For two years I've been putting all my tip money into a savings account in case something happened and I think this falls under that category." I actually have A LOT of money saved into that account for reasons I don't want to explain. Maybe one day but not now. "Also Walmart is a store. I'll go take a shower and get some clean clothes on, in the meantime..." I opened my purse then grabbed a small notebook I kept in there along with a pen. "Would you guys mind writing your sizes? I don't know how they measure in your world but here shirts are measured small, medium, large, extra large, etc. The pants are the inches around your waist then the inches in length. Uh, anything else I can do?" I handed the pad and pen to Pein.

"No, you may take your leave." And I did just that, gladly.

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I walked into my master bathroom and what I saw in the mirror made me flinch. My face is covered in painful looking bruises and cuts. Also my hair, it's a nightmare!' I must have got hit pretty hard because my microdermal is missing as well. 'I'm going to have to get that redone when I go for the tongue ring.'

"Fuuuuccckkkk mmmeeeee." 'I'll think about that later. Right now I need to hurry and clean this out.' While I stripped down into my birthday suit, I examined the rest of the damage only to find an occasional bruise, but nothing serious. I started the shower then hopped in to clean myself. Dirt along with blood could be seen swirling down the drain and the water stung my sore body, but it has to be done. I made sure to wash my face clean as well. Which hurt like a mother fucker let me just tell you and when I finally got out I felt a little better but I still looked like I got in a fight with Mike Tyson. 'I can't put makeup on this or else it might infect it... Ok if anyone asks you were walking down the stairs but you tripped on Sekhmet. Plain and simple. Thank God you don't have to work tonight!' I wrapped a towel around me then stepped into my room only to find Konan sitting on the bed.

"Uh, hey?" 'This is really awkward...' She didn't even skip a beat.

"I am the one who will go with you to this Walmart...you said you already have clothes for me?" She looked at my small body skeptically. 'I know I have the body of a 10 year old boy! You don't have to rub it in my face!' I really am small, (In more ways than one, damn A cups...) I am only 5'2". A lot of people say it adds to the pixie look in my face and I'd have to agree. I look like a punk Tinkerbell with black hair and pastel green eyes. Fucking fantastic.

"They should fit, hold on." I walked to the closet in my towel then picked out my larger black jeggings and dress like grey T-shirt.

"Here try these." Konan took the clothes from my hand then proceeded to the bathroom. While she is doing that, I walked back to the closet to get dressed as well. I got my panties and bra then decided to throw on some skinny jeans with a dark green tank top since it's going to be pretty warm today. Konan came out soon after I was done dressing. The clothes fit her right so yay, I get to save some money!

"Are they suppose to be so tight?"

"Yep, they look good actually."

"Your world is so strange..."

"I could say the same for yours." I winked at her before I started lacing up my converse. "So, when did you guys get here? How long do you think you will have to stay? Hey, now that I think about it where is Zetsu?" 'I also want to know where Tobi is but I'm already on thin ice. Probably shouldn't mention him yet.' Konan gave me a blank look.

"I can't tell you any of that until you are sealed." I sighed.

"That's fair I guess." I finished tying my shoes. "Ready?"

"Yes." We walked downstairs to find the guys are gone already.

"The hell?" They left the list on the kitchen table.

"Where?-"

"You can't know that either, yet." I sighed in defeat and grabbed the list.

"Ook, is there anything else you think we should get?" She pondered it for a moment.

"Under garments and blankets." I nodded.

"Razors and shaving cream as well?"

"Yes. That will be helpful." We walked out the door.

"Alright, you know you're going to ride in a car right?" Konan froze in place.

"I...forgot about that." She looked at my bug and winced.

"We will leave your window down, ok?" She nodded.

"Yes, please. I must ask, why are you being so kind? We were about to kill you just a second ago."

"Because you decided not to. We are going to be working together (wether I want to or not.) and grudges are a pain in the ass to carry. If I hold on to them it'll just make everything harder for everyone, but I'd appreciate it if you guys wouldn't threaten me as much." Konan stared at me.

"You are definitely an odd girl...I'll see what I can do about the death threats." I wiggled my eyebrows then gave her a mischievous grin.

"Thanks and how about we go with 'You are definitely a sexy girl.' It sounds better." She glared.

"Don't push it." I squeaked as we reached my car.

"Yes ma'am!"

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Author's note: I know she can just write the info down but I've got that covered! ;P and how the seal works will be explained more later!


	5. Chapter 5

Reviews are always appreciated and Naruto isn't mine!

Thank you for reviewing Miko Hayashi! Hope I don't dissapoint!

And I don't know what the fuck just happened because one moment the right chapter was posted and the next it wasnt. Literally Miko answered my shout out to this chapter but then next I check it's wrong so my bad. So thanks to the two reviewers Arcami and frostedtrees!

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Chapter 5

Today is a beautiful sunday morning! The cars are honking, kids are playing out in the streets like jack asses, Konan's head is sticking out the window whilst we drive down the highway at 60 mph. The smell of the horrible Dayton pollution just makes you wonder, what are you doing with your life!? Oh great times...Aannyywwaayyss... it took us about 20 minutes to reach the store and once we finally got to Walmart she launched herself out of the vehicle instantly. (How is her hair still perfect!? Lucky bastard.)

"That...was unpleasant." I hid my grin behind my hand.

"I couldn't tell, how about we go inside then? Is there anything the guys won't eat or wear?"

"We are not picky when it comes to food but I ask for everyone that the clothes stay as muted as possible." I hunched over and did my best Hashirama impression.

"Damn, I wanted to buy them hot pink mid-drift t-shirts." Konan is glaring at me with a tinge of killer intent so I raised my arms in the universal sign of surrender. "I am just kidding, sheesh I feel like I'm walking on fucking egg shells." We headed to the building and thankfully on the way Konan's mood lightened up.

"This place really holds everything we need?" I nodded my head.

"Everything, and then some." We reached the doors and as usual they opened automatically. Konan jumped back a bit prepared to fight until she saw my relaxed figure. 'Oh this is hilarious!' It's taking every ounce of control not to bust out laughing but I managed.

"How...how do they do that?" I shrugged then lead her inside.

"Well I don't know the exact mechanics, all I know is that the rubber pad senses when weight is added, then it sends an electrical charge to open it. Anymore than that and I'm lost." I went to grab a cart and when I returned Konan is frozen in place staring out in the store.

"I've never seen so many supplies in one place. This is all one store?" I'm smiling at this point. She looks so cute right now with those wide eyes that I can't help it.

"Yea, pretty neat right?"

"It is very impressive." After that we dove in to gather everything we will need. It took us way longer than it should've but Konan would stop every 5 minutes to stare at something or ask me questions. I spent 25 minutes trying to convince her to just leave the tech section! All in all, we were in there fucking 3 1/2 HOURS. In that time we got all the guys three full outfits, a pair of cheap knock off converse for each Akatsuki member, several packs of boxers and panties, tons of American food, ( I can't cook anything else.) lots of coffee, (I live on that shit.) razors, shaving cream, 5 inflatable mattresses, (Because Konan can share with me and I have two extra beds at home already.) a bunch of cheap ass blankets that were on sale, and tooth brushes. I spent 1/4 of my savings in one go but at least this will last us awhile. Once we finally got out and into the car I dialed up my piercer friend Jake. Konan stared at my phone but I'll talk to her after the call.

"Hey Valentine what's up?" Konan started glaring again. 'Oh crap! I didn't tell her about this! FUCK A DUCK!'

"Eh heheh, nothing much Jake! I took a nasty tumble yesterday and my microdermal fell out! Do you mind replacing it sometime?" Jake is laughing his ass off.

"No problem you damn klutz! But it'll have to be tuesday, is that alright?" Konan is still glaring but slowly she nodded.

"Yea that's fine, could you also pierce my tongue? I've been wanting to get that done for awhile but never got around to talking to you about it."

"Yea absolutely! Damn it, sorry but I've got to go. I have a shit ton of appointments to take care of but meet me here at 3:00 and I'll hook you up. Then maybe we can grab lunch or something I haven't seen ya in awhile!"

"Yea sure! See ya then Jake!" The line went dead...

"You had a method of communication this whole time without informing us?" 'Oh fuck she's scary.'

"I'm sorry Konan, I honestly didn't think about it. You know I haven't attempted to get help...and I know better than to try. I'm REALLY sorry." Konan sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"You are right, you haven't tried once to escape. Which is why I'm not going to kill you." My body relaxed. "Let's try to not make this a habit though."

"N-no problem! Can I keep my phone then?"

"We will ask leader, first let's get back to base." She then proceeded to stick her head out the window as if it is the most normal thing on the planet. 'Crazy ass S-rank ninja...she's going to give me an ulcer.'

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When we got home Pein was informed of my cellphone. He is actually pretty ok with it (Probably because he figured out how weak our race is.) but he took it and said if I want to use it I have to ask him. After that conversation I stocked my fridge, then I proceeded to hand all the guys their new clothes. No one is HAPPY per se, but they sent me off so they could change anyways. I shielded my eyes as I went straight into the kitchen. 'This is too much, 7 guys stripping in my living room is where I draw the line and call it a day.' I'm so exhausted, like the kind of tired where you feel flat out drunk. 'Oh my gosh, this is ridiculous.' I trudged to the freezer to get me some chocolate ice cream (Ice cream fixes EVERYTHING!) and I also made some coffee. After a couple bites my soul feels better but I'm still half asleep so I chugged my mug but to no avail. 5 minutes in Kisame came to tell me that they are finished.

"What's that you're eating Valentine?" Kisame sniffed the air.

"Ice cream," I got a spoon for him and offered it. "You want some?" Kisame walked over then took a bite of the dessert. 'I'm sharing ice cream with Kisame Hoshigaki, fucking awesome!'

"This is actually pretty good."

"Fuck yea it is." I held out the gallon carton in a silent gesture of 'help yourself' so he got some more. After I placed my empty cup in the sink we walked into the room still sharing the ice cream. 'Damn, they look like entirely different people!'

"Fish face gets food first!? What the fuck!?" 'Well, appearances are deceiving.' I spoke while the spoon is still in my mouth.

"This can hardly count as food Hidan, it's frozen flavored cream. But if you want some there are spoons in the drawer by the stove." Hidan huffed then jerked his head away from my direction like a child. 'Brat.' I chose to ignore his behavior. "Speaking of food, I'll go pop some pizza into the oven, but after that can I PLEASE got to bed. I've been up for way too long."

"It was night not too long ago, how are you tired."

"I work nights Deidara, then I go to sleep when I come home but that didn't happen. Not to mention I got the shit beaten out of me today. That'll make anyone sleepy!"

"Why would a girl like you work at night? What is your occupation?" I turned my attention to Pein.

"I'm just a bartender, I'm surprised that my collection didn't tip you off." Itachi and Kisame stiffened.

"We didn't find anything to hint towards that." Now I'M SHOCKED, my secret stash even fooled an UCHIHA!? 'Maybe its because they aren't use to this world's tricks?...'

"Dude, I know this house was decked out during Prohibition but I didn't think it would get pass you." I did a 'come hither' motion then walked back into the kitchen. The Akatsuki curiously followed to observe. "I guess you guys should first know what Prohibition was. In year 1919, America decided to make alcohol illegal. Now we Americans are notorious for breaking the law so people back then decided to make hidden bars for their illegal goods. Prohibition ended in 1933 but," I went over to the wall on the side of the stairs. At the corner where the two walls meet I tucked my finger nail in the seam and slid it up to unlatch the secret door. I pushed the door in to reveal a Harry Potter styled room with shelves all around filled with booze.

"-the hidden bars can still be found."

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Author's note: HOW DID THEY NOT FIND THE ROOM!? Well my thought process is Valentine... well she's clearly not capable in battle. So they didn't search THAT hard because even if she had a secret weapon they can take her down no problem. Also secret rooms and such were disguised with jutsu in their world, not hidden in plain sight like that from what I understand.


	6. Chapter 6

Reviews are always appreciated and Naruto isn't mine!

Thank you guest reviewer! I'm glad you love it!

Miko had a great idea of doing an Omake at the end of each chapter so I'm going to start doing that! This first omake is pretty long so enjoy!

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Chapter 6

The Akatsuki stood there examining my hidden room, until leader spoke up.

"Itachi, Kisame, I'm dissapointed. You of all people should know never to trust appearances." 'Buurrnn!' Both of the men listed apologized. "Miss Valentina, your people's ingenuity impresses me. We will store our gear in here, no room for debate." 'That actually isn't a bad idea...but you don't have to be a dick about it.'

"Yea, no problem," I moved away from the door and the group started loading their stuff in. "So I guess I'll go make those pizzas then?" They completely ignore me. 'Ouch...I think that cold shoulder just gave me frostbite.' I went over to the freezer and pulled out 4 pepperoni pizzas, then I preheated the oven to 375°. Once all the preparations were complete I started baking the pizza 2 in each rack. 8 minutes in, the whole kitchen started to smell heavenly and the Akatsuki had finished their chore. After awhile I heard Deidara shout from the living room.

"That actually smells pretty good! You said its called 'pizza'?" 'So at least HE listened.' "What's all in it?" He walked in and took a seat on the kitchen counter. I leaned casually against the fridge.

"Yea, pizza is basically bread with sauce and toppings. This one has tomato sauce with mozzarella cheese and a type of salami called pepperoni. I don't think think you guys have pepperoni and mozzarella in your world though." Deidara shook his head.

"No we don't, and what's a 'salami'?" 'Oh yea they don't have those either! Poor bastards.'

"It's really just seasoned meat-" The timer went off and Deidara twitched but remained calm. "Hold on," I got the oven mitt resting on the stove and pulled out all 4 pizzas onto the snack bar. I went to the drawer beside the sink to get my pizza cutter. When I turned around I found all of the Akatsuki are inside my kitchen, staring at the food.

"Strange." Kakuzu is rubbing his chin, intrigued. I decided to go ahead and cut the pizza, then I grabbed paper plates. 'I just want to get this shit over with and go to BED. So done with today!' I set the plates on the side of the pizza then went back to the sink. After I washed my hands I took a plate and picked out a slice.

"Dig in." They quickly became

disgusted.

"You Americans, eat with your hands like that?" Itachi's nose scrunched up. 'Prude.'

"We wash our hands first but yea, some foods we do. But if you don't want to I can get you a fork and knife?" They all said yes, (except Sasori of course) so I went back to the silver ware drawer and brought out a bunch of utensils. 'I chose pizza so I wouldn't have to do dishes but nnnnooooooooooooooooooooooo those royal highnesses need SSIILLVVEERRWWAARREE.' They stared blankly at the utensils before grabbing their food and heading to the living room. I finished my slice inside the kitchen but I noticed Leader lingered inside the room.

"You may sleep now, if we need you I'll send Konan." 'FUCKING FINALLY!' I threw away my plate but stopped before bolting up my stairs. I glanced back at Pein.

"Uh, like you saw the plates can be thrown away and the silverware just needs to be put into the sink. Good night!" Leader stared silently at me, before joining his subordinates. I called Sekhmet for our usual bed time cuddle session and she came scurrying in from the corner in the kitchen, then she followed me up the stairs into my room. Now normally I sleep naked with just my panties but since there are guests here I threw on some black baggy sweats and a tight white tank top. Sekhmet rested at the foot of my queen size just like usual while I tucked myself in for the day. She moved up into my arms and as I quickly fell asleep I couldn't help but think.

'My life is a fucking train wreck.'

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When I woke up I glanced at my alarm clock to find that I slept in till 8 pm. (I usually wake up at 1 pm but the Akatsuki kept me up late.)

"Fffffuuuuccckkkkkk." Sekhmet nuzzled my face, hoping that I would open the door so I obliged. I trudged downstairs to feed Sekhmet and once I was finished I brewed myself a coffee. I leaned against my usual spot at the fridge while I drank my unsweetened beverage. Sekhmet finished her meal so she began making figure 8's around my legs trying to get my attention. 'I swear this cat needs a 'Notice Me Senpai' shirt.' I took another sip, before I gave her a quick scratch behind the ears.

"What are you drinking?" I almost spat my coffee out, but I saved.

"Guh! Hidan, please for the sake of my fucking blood pressure! Make noise when you walk!" Hidan smirked.

"So pathetic. I'll ask again, what is that. Smells awful." I gave him an indifferent look.

"It's coffee. Tastes awful too but the caffeine boost is worth it."

"So it's like a strong tea?" I nodded.

"I guess, for lack of a better term. So what did you guys do while I was in a fucking coma?" Hidan's smirk dropped.

"What do you think dumb ass, we tried to figure out how the hell we will get back home. Sadly, it seems like we are fucking stuck for awhile. Puppet bastard has been focused on that seal for you, but I don't understand all that junk." Hidan began scratching the back of his head. "It all gives me a fucking head ache and Leader is denying me my rituals. Jashin will not be pleased." 'THANK YOU LEADER!'

"Sounds rough, would you like some coffee?" He nodded so I went to pour him a mug. I handed the cup to Hidan and he took a sip but it doesn't seem like he cares for the flavor.

"You're right, tastes like shit but I feel better."

"Telling ya, a cup of this every morning and you're an entirely different person." Sasori came into the kitchen, (at least he had the decency to make noise.) and turned his gaze towards me.

"The seal design for you is finished, so I decided to take you up on your previous offer." 'Previous offer?' My face must've said it all. "*sigh* The vehicles that can fly?" I snapped my fingers.

"Oh yea, I said I would show you videos of airplanes! If you can get Leader to lend me my phone I'll get right to it." Sasori went back into the living room without a word.

"What the fuck is an airplane?" Hidan finished his coffee and placed it into the sink.

"Well it's a way of transportation here. This way we can fly." Hidan gaped.

"You weak heathens can fly without chakra."

"Well, not without the plane." Sasori came in holding my phone. "Here, it's easier to show you."

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Omake!

Both me and Konan are waiting in line at Walmart. I'm looking at the candy ravenously until my gaze caught something else, a small little pink can in the form of a keychain. I instantly recognized it as a can of pepper spray. I went over and grabbed the package to examine it. Then, remembering my earlier struggle with self defense, I threw the can in with everything else. 'I don't want to be completely powerless again. I was somewhat lucky last time but I can't count on a rescue.' We rang up soon after, then we headed back to the car.

!

When we got back I started loading the food into my fridge. After that, I began searching for my new weapon, but no dice. 'I put that thing on the damn counter! I could've sworn I did!' I went looking into the living room to find Hidan holding the can with no one else but Kakuzu there, and he isn't paying attention to us at all.

"HIDAN, THAT'S DANGEROUS!" Hidan scoffed.

"This girly little charm is DANGEROUS, I'm immortal. It won't hurt me stupid heathen!" He uncapped the can.

"It's MEANT to be painful dip shit! If you get that in your eyes-!" He held a cocky smirk as he lifted the can to his face. Kakuzu finally glared at us.

"What is that thing, girl." I gulped.

"Pepper spray." After I said that Hidan started laughing.

"You really think I can't handle a fucking PINK can? Watch, you weakling!" Keeping his smirk, he continued to spray himself directly into the face. 'DID HE REALLY JUST DO THAT!?'

"See!? You people can't hurt- wait. What the...FUCK. AW FUCKING HELLFIRE! GET THIS SHIT OFF ME KAKUZU!" Hidan hunched over and began clawing at his face. Kakuzu walked over to me though, cool as a cucumber.

"She warned you idiot, this is your punishment." Hidan is growling with snot and tears dripping all over his face. 'Sexy...'

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK, BITCH GET THIS OFF ME BEFORE I SACRIFICE YOU TO JASHIN!" Kakuzu raised an arm in front of me.

"Don't move, he needs to learn the hard way." 'I'm honestly starting to think Kakuzu... is fucking enjoying this!' "Hidan, you know better than to kill her, if you try Leader will be especially vicious. This pain will be nothing compared to his rage."

"SCREW YOU KAKUZU! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HIM!" Hidan moved towards me but he is so blinded that he tripped on the corner of my couch. He landed face first but then tried to get back up. Kakuzu stomped on his head to keep him down. What happened next, I would've never guessed in a million years. Hidan blindly searched the floor with his hands and found my pepper spray on his left side. He then grabbed it and sprayed wildly at our direction, hitting BOTH of us.

"HIDAN, I AM GOING TO DISMEMBER YOU!" Kakuzu ripped off his mask as he went down. I threw my hands on my cheeks. The fresh cuts on my face are on FIRE! 'WHY THE HELL DOES SHIT LIKE THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME!?'

"FUUUUCCCKKKK MMEEE DDOOGGGGYYY SSTTYYLLEE!" Mucus is pouring and I'm drooling all over myself. The guys aren't any better off. I fell on my side, cradling my face in pain.

"HAH FUCKERS! NOW YOU HAVE TO HELP!" Kakuzu yelled over a mouth full of spit.

"YOU DAMN MORON! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU AFTER THIS! VALENTINE WHAT DO WE NEED TO DO!?"

"WE NEED TO *cough* GET THE MILK! *cough, cough* BUT I ONLY BOUGHT TWO! YOU HOLD THE DUMBASS DOWN AND I'LL GIVE YOU ONE I SWEAR!"

"DON'T LISTEN TO THAT BITCH KAKUZU!" Hidan lifted his head off my carpet with a trail of grossness sticking to the side of his face. Kakuzu ignored him and tackled, then he held Hidan down.

"MOVE!" I started squirming to the kitchen door. Pretty much drowning in my own snot.

"FUCK YOU PEOPLE!" Hidan elbowed Kakuzu, causing him to roll off. Then he launched his whole body weight on top of me. "YOU ARE GOING TO GET ME THE FUCKING MILK AND THEN MAYBE I WON'T SACRIFICE YOU- AAAAHHHHHHHH!" Another wave of pain hit him and due to frustration I finally let out some of my pent up anger.

"YOU BITCH! I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT YOUR NEEDS!" I wiped my hand across my face, gathering up some ick. Then I slapped him across the cheek.

"OH THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING, YOU'RE SO DEAD-" Kakuzu 's strings wrapped around Hidan and launched him across the room.

"GET YOUR ASS MOVING!" I wobbled onto my two feet and bolted into the kitchen as fast as I could, tripping along the way. I grabbed the two milk cartons, then came back. I tossed one over towards Kakuzu (I think) and started pouring my carton on my face. Half way through the jug my skin felt a little better, but the pain is still horrendous.

"Kakuzu, we need to fill the sink with water and dish soap! Can you do that, your faster!?" Kakuzu grunted then vanished from the kitchen. I about began pouring the rest of the milk till I heard Hidan.

"Fucking bitch *cough* and that selfish miser! I'll kill em, I'll kill them all for this! Oh fuck, can't this end Jashin!? Uuughhh! *cough*" I felt a familiar twist in my gut at the sight of him. 'Fuck me sideways, I'm too nice sometimes.' I went over to Hidan, he is face down huddled onto my carpet so I flipped him around.

"WHAT THE FU-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND!" I forced his eye lids oped with my pointer and middle finger. Without any hesitation, I poured the milk straight into his face. He sputtered a bit but didn't resist. After the carton was done Kakuzu walked back in.

"I told you not to help him."

"I couldn't just watch him suffer Kakuzu, I felt like an ass. Hidan we need to go to the sink and wash our faces. Can you do that?" Hidan nodded so we both limped to my kitchen. (Looking so very fabulous.)

"I threatened to kill you and you still fucking helped. You into weird shit or something." Both sides of the sink are filled so I dipped my head in one side. I lifted it back up and saw Hidan do the same.

"No, I run off emotion sometimes and I felt like a jerk leaving you in pain. But fucking listen to me next time and it'll save everyone a lot of trouble. Cocky dumbass, NEVER in my life have I seen someone spray themselves straight in the eyes with PEPPER SPRAY."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever bitch. I get it, that was a bad idea." Once we finished cleaning our faces we went back to the mess inside my living room.

"Kakuzu, Hidan, I REALLY need help cleaning this up...but once we are done can we please never speak of this again?" Kakuzu nodded.

"Agreed, I wouldn't want the other members to know I was in such a sorry state." Hidan crossed his arms.

"Jashin wouldn't be pleased if anyone else knew about this either."

"Alrighty guys, this NEVER happened." Both men hummed their agreements, but right after Kakuzu punched Hidan's lights out in one swing.

"Two people are enough to clean this."

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	7. Chapter 7

Reviews are always appreciated and Naruto isn't mine!

Thank you guest reviewer! I really try to make it a point in keeping them in character! Glad you appreciate it! :D

Thanks Be-Mindful! I'm happy you found it cute! (and yes, gotta love Kakuzu!)

And I see what you did there Miko Hayashi lol. Thanks for the idea!

Thank you Eclipse1! *Pats your back trying to help you get air.*

HEY GUYS, I'm taking requests for things you want the Akatsuki introduced to! Just PM me or put it in a review and if I really like it I'll use it! You can suggest multiple things!

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Chapter 7

Sasori gently handed over my phone so I pressed the lock screen button and my device lit up. Sasori and Hidan hovered over my shoulder clearly amazed already. I slid my finger across the screen leading me to the homepage. Then I tapped the Youtube icon, when I searched airplanes of course that fucking B.o.B song came up first. (The one with Hayley from Paramore.) But right below is airplane take offs and landings. I tapped it and the video pulled up. The clip only took over 5 minutes but boy after it was done were they impressed.

"Did you fucking see that puppet bastard!? Damn, that thing is huge and this 'phone' is awesome!" Hidan tried to snatch my phone away but Sasori was faster.

"You didn't dissapoint girl...but this device is even more impressive than the 'plane'. What else can you find on here?"

"Anything unclassified for the most part. Is there anything else you would like to see?" I smiled at the two men. 'I'm going to have to rely on them for protection, better kiss ass a bit more.'

"I wanna fucking see myself in the damn show!" Sasori glared.

"If we look up information on ourselves now then we lose the benefits of having her hold the knowledge." Hidan huffed but it's hard to deny that logic. Sasori turned his attention back to me. "No, that is fine for now. When are you to receive the piercing?"

"Not tomorrow, but the next day at 3:00. I'm assuming you will be the one coming with me?"

"You are correct, I have to make sure the placement is right." I nodded.

"Figured, fuck I'm going to have a lisp for a couple days. That's gonna suck!" Sekhmet brushed against my leg again so I scooped her up. "It's a good thing Luke allows facial piercings or else I'd be screwed at work."

"Oh yea! Hey, what the hell are we going to do about her working. The bitch can't be alone." 'Holy shit Hidan, that's a good question.'

"We haven't discussed that yet...but now may be a good time." Sasori walked right out of the room followed by Hidan. 'I should probably go too, damn it.' I walked behind them holding my kitty into the living room.

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The rest of the members were lounging around, some speaking to their partners while other rested by themselves. Pein is discussing something with Konan before turning his attention to me.

"I see you're awake." 'You probably knew the moment I got up but whatever.' Konan gazed at my face.

"You look much better Miss Valentina." I touched my tender skin with my fingers.

"Uh, thanks." Pein let out a low sigh.

"Is there a reason for your presence." Sasori joined in.

"We are curious what your plan is for her work schedule." Pein sat silent for a moment.

"I have been so concerned with everything else that it slipped my mind. Miss Valentina, I must ask when are you required at your place of employment?"

"Uh, well I get sunday nights off. Other than that I TYPICALLY work 7 pm to 3 am. Last night was an exception though because Amy wasn't there to close." At Sundown a bar manager needs to be present for opening and closing. I'm the opening bar manager so usually I don't have to stay for the last two hours. The system may be weird but when you think about it, there really only needs to be one present. And with that little difference in scheduling our lunches fall on different times which helps a shit ton!

"I see, you don't seem like the idiotic type to try something." Pein mumbled this more to himself than anything. 'Wow, was that a compliment!?' "A team will accompany you to your workplace and they will also meet you when you are finished. This is more for your protection than anything because I don't think anyone wants a repeat of what happened last night. It wouldn't do us any good if you were to be hurt or tramatized. But I reiterate, if you attempt to get help..." He let the sentence trail off allowing my imagination to do the work. I nodded my head in understanding. 'Thank God they aren't going to sit at the club and wait inside! I can't imagine any of them dancing, and what if some ratchet came up to flirt. Or what if they saw anyone TWERK. OH... FUCK... NO.'

"Got it, now will it bother anyone if I watch some shows," I pointed to the T.V.

"So that contraption is used for entertainment?" Pein rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"Yea, can I show you?" Pein closed his eyes and gave a short nod. 'He's probably bored shitless too but he's too proud to admit it.' I went to my spot in the middle of the floor, grabbing the remote on the way over. After some scrolling I found a documentary over deep sea life at the Discovery Channel. I smiled and snuggled my face into Sekhmet. You can call me a child but I love seeing the strange fish. The light shows are also pretty fucking awesome. I started staring at the screen in wonder as a goblin shark came into view.

"Holy shit Sekhmet isn't that awesome! I'd give up a leg to be able to go and see all of this!"

"Where are these creatures found, Valentine." Kisame joined me on the floor staring at the screen.

"DEEP in the ocean! So deep that without special submarines, the pressure would crush us. Oh my gosh and that's my favorite animal!" The vampire squid became blood red and it's eyes started glowing blue, as well as the tips of its tentacles. "So pretty!"

Of course, Hidan had to ruin the moment.

"What the hell is so special about ugly fish?" I glared at him.

"Ssshhhhhhhhhh, you may not appreciate it but I assure you. You're the only one who doesn't." 'Douche.' Deidara sat down on my other side.

"She is right, look at the explosions of color, to create that art in such a dark, wet place is impressive." The room went silent as we stared at the screen, effectively ignoring Hidan's presence.

"Fine, fucking watch the disgusting tuna!" Hidan sat down, clearly not happy. 'Man, I'm starting to think Hidan is an attention whore.' The Akatsuki and myself watched the documentary till 9:30 pm. After that was done Pein started handing out orders.

"Alright, those who were chosen for night watch, this doesn't apply for you. Miss Valentina, most of us are ready to rest." 'Show us were to fucking sleep, man this guy grates my nerves. You can say please Pein!' I had stacked the air mattresses in the corner but I didn't think they would be taking shifts like this. I would've bought less but whatever, I guess we have extras in case they pop.

"The long couch actually pulls out into a full size mattress. And upstairs their is a whole guest room but I assume that will be going to you alone, Leader. Konan are you going to sleep now." She nodded. "Then my bed is all yours. Everyone else can follow me to figure out how to work the air mattresses. Who claims the couch mattress at night and who claims it for the day?" Kakuzu raised his hand immediately.

"I believe seniority plays a factor."

"Do you mean age or time in Akatsuki? I know you win either way but for the others?" Pein spoke out.

"Age, so for day Kakuzu has the couch mattress. For nights the bed is granted to Hidan."

"FUCK YEA, TAKE THAT!" No one payed any attention to his antics again. I instead, grabbed a bed for the demonstration. After I was done the day guys filled up their beds and slept haphazardly around the living room. I went into the kitchen where I found Kakuzu placing some tags around the kitchen. He saw me and answered my question without me even having to ask.

"These are sound barrier seals. I'd rather not wake up the rest without good reason." I gave him a thumbs up and stepped inside the kitchen. Once he was done he sat down in a stool at the snack bar. Kisame and Sasori walked in and sat down as well, leaving a seat left which I claimed. Sasori pulled out my phone onto the table and slid it to me.

"It's going to be just us for awhile so I figured you could teach us a little more about our surroundings." 'He really is interested in our world, but that's to be expected from a guy like Sasori.'

"No problem, but do you mind if I get a drink? I can really use one."

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Omake!

Ten minutes after she went upstairs, Konan came back down and found me.

"I need to see you in the master bedroom." I went up without a second thought. Once we arrived to my room, Konan shut the door.

"I was conducting a search of the room before I allowed myself to retire but I found something that I have never seen." She went to my nightstand and pulled out a roll of silver packaging. My face flushed bright red and I almost fainted but I managed. 'Fuck a mother fucking duck! Please let's not go there Konan!'

"O-o-oh I f-forgot about t-those. They are completely harmless." Konan narrowed her eyes

"Let me be the judge of that. What are they used for?" I gulped. 'FUCKING HELL! I'D RATHER EAT OUT LADY GAGA AFTER AN ORGY THAN EXPLAIN THIS TO THE. FUCKING. KONAN!'

"Uh... uummmm, damn it this embarrassing Konan! Please don't make me say it!" She stuck the condoms in my face. 'DAMN IT! OH LORD WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!'

"You will tell me before I lose my patience. Or do we need to bring Leader in here." I squeaked. 'Hell no we don't need to get Leader!' Once Leader gets envolved it's game over.

"Birth control! They are used to prevent babies during sex! I've never done it before but I bought them in case I decided to try it one day! Be prepared, r-right?" I laughed awkwardly. Konan's face went blank, she then walked into my bathroom and I followed. She opened the toilet and summoned some of her paper shuriken... and she proceeded without a moment's notice to shred the condoms into little pieces and flush the tiny shreds down the toilet.

"If that is so, you have no need for them anymore." I gave a high pitched whine.

"C'MON!" 'They aren't going to let me have any fun! DAMN IT WHY ME!?'

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	8. Chapter 8

Reviews are always appreciated and Naruto isn't mine!

Thank you again Eclipse1! *Bows head hoping not to dissapoint.*

To Miko Hayashi, maybe an Omake centered around each member! :D

Guest reviewer, why she did it? I'll leave that to interpretation. ;P

I love hearing all of your requests guys! Keep them coming!

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Chapter 8

Tonight has been awesome, I have to say. Kisame is a pretty relaxed guy and so is Kakuzu once you get Hidan the fuck away from him. It is 3:41 am currently and I am discussing some crazy facts with Sasori.

"Ridiculous, that can't be true."

"It is, we know more about space than we do about our own ocean." Kisame chuckled.

"Seems like your guy's priorities aren't straight." I shrugged.

"I'd have to agree with you on that one. But hey what do I know." Sasori scoffed.

"A lot more than what you let on. I personally thought you were fairly average if not vulgar, but I was mistaken. I saw your book shelf in your room and I was impressed by the material. Yet it seems like you want to hide that intelligence, how come?" I looked at Sasori.

"I'm flattered by the compliment but you make it sound like if you have a shred of intellect in you that you have to act all mature and shit. I act like this because it's me." Kakuzu spoke to me next.

"Even though you don't mean to it is a very good shinobi tool. To deceive your opponent is always a plus inside battle. It's also a good thing since you will be our informant." I scratched the back of my head and flushed. He isn't trying to praise me, he's only stating facts, but it still feels like a compliment to me.

"I guess, so how is that informant thing going to work anyways. Or am I not allowed to know that yet." Kisame grinned at me.

"That is also something you will have to wait for until you are sealed, kid." I looked at Kisame funny.

"Why did you call me kid? You don't call Hidan anything like that." Kisame responded.

"Well aren't you what, 16?" I shook my head.

"They really allow 16 year olds to serve alcohol in your world? I guess I shouldn't be surprised. You let 12 year olds kill people." Kakuzu's eyes widened.

"You're saying your older than that. I would've bet money on you being less then 18."

"Yep," 'Good thing he didn't bet because I'm pretty sure that fucker would have killed me out of spite.' "I'm 22." Kisame chuckled.

"My, my, you definitely aren't a kid." Kakuzu nodded.

"Like I said earlier, deceit is a good thing." I smiled.

"Never thought I'd be happy about being deceitful. Did you guys want a snack, I'm hungry again." They said yes so I went and grabbed some chips and three separate bowls. Once I sorted the snack, I sat back down.

"Sorry guys but you're going to have to suck it up. I don't have utensils for these." They huffed a bit but they ate anyways. I turned to Sasori.

"So, do you miss eating?" Sasori sneered.

"Not a bit, I am true art now." 'Narcissistic even in person...'

"I see, mind if I feel your arm or something? I know I sound like a crazy bitch but I'm curious." Sasori glared.

"No." I sighed.

"Ookk, forget I asked." I pouted a bit and glanced at the clock. 3:50 am. I got up and went to a cabinet. Then, I pulled out a deck of cards. "Any one want to play go fish?"

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The night went on with a good game of go fish. Me and Kisame got pwned by Kakuzu and Sasori, but between the two it was even. Eventually Konan came down to tell me the bed was mine again so I made the Akatsuki food for the day and went upstairs to sleep. When I woke up, (At 1 pm thank goodness.) the day was pretty chill. At 5 pm I started getting ready for work. Luke is the owner of Sundown and a close personal friend of mine. He's not strict at all as long as the job gets done so dress code is a simple 'Don't look like a COMPLETE slut.' It gets hot in there and with my androgynous body I can pull off less clothing than the rest. I threw on some tight black skinny jeans with a tiny braided black belt and pinstriped vest that cuts off above my hips. (Showing off my white rose tattoos on my hips) I wore nothing underneath and I have to say I look bad ass. The cuts on my face scabbed over so I put bandages on but the bruises I decided to apply concealer. Then I did my iconic winged eye liner with nude lips. 'There, now I don't look like I had a horrible run in with Godzilla.' I laced up some combat boots and headed downstairs ready for the night. When I got down some of the guys were hanging out in my kitchen and when they saw me they quickly became silent.

"Uuhh who's escorting with me?" Hidan ignored me.

"Bitch, I didn't know you had tattoos."

"That's the point, I don't want people to see them unless I decide to show them off." I have more, I have a white Chinese dragon tattoo wrappped around my calf and an owl underneath my sternum with its wings outstretched underneath my rack. All of them are fairly big and done in black and grey, but I won't tell anyone their meaning. I know the reason and that's all that matters.

"Whatever, I'll be the one taking you there so let's hurry the fuck up." Hidan had everything on so we went into the car and drove off. (He didn't stick his head out the window. Nor did he even need it open for that matter.) When we got there I grabbed my keys for the day and turned to Hidan.

"I assume you know not to be seen."

"What kind of dumb ass do you think I am? Of course I know! That fuck Sasori will grab you when you're done. I'm going to go now and pray, Jashin is not pleased with me at the moment." Then he vanished without a trace. 'Isn't he suppose to wait till I get inside, oh hold on, only GENTLEMEN do that. My mistake.' I walked over to the building where I saw my 4 girls waiting to start their shifts. (These employees are strictly under my care while Amy has 4 of her own. Splitting them up made it easier for us to keep track.) I got to the door and unlocked it, officially started my shift.

"Well ladies, here we go."

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8 hours later.

I am trying to walk out of the bar but some basic bitch is giving me shit. She smells like sex and looks like a slut in this awful zebra print dress.

"BITCH, I can tell just by looking at you that you think you're hot shit. Staring at my man all night, psh, who the hell do you think you are!?" I sighed.

"I have absolutely no clue what you are talking about, now if you'll excuse me." She tried to step in my way but she stumbled, allowing me to slip by. Her head snapped around to me again, grabbing my wrist forcefully.

"Awh, I see you're afraid to face me!" I face palmed with my other hand and glanced at the bouncer. He came, then escorted the pissed off skank out of the premises. 'I have too much shit to be worrying about. I don't need some bimbo blonde ratchet chewing me out.' I searched the parking lot for Sasori till I heard him clear his throat beside me. Making me jump a bit.

"Fuck me! Jeez Sasori I didn't see you there." I grinned at the man puppet but he was not amused.

"Obviously," I pouted a bit at his coldness, but then I heard my red headed girl Rebecca shout my name from the building.

"Valentine wait! I-" She cut herself off when she caught sight of me with Sasori. 'Shiitake mushrooms...' She donned a mischievous smile as she came closer to me.

"Well Valentine. I promise to make this quick, I don't want to hold you up." She motioned to Sasori with her eyes quickly and wiggled her eyebrows. 'Fuck, I'm really going to hear about this tomorrow...'

"Eh heheh, what did you need Rebecca?" I began scratching the back of my head as I felt Sasori's glare pierce my skin, paired with a fair amount of killer intent for making him wait. Rebecca clapped her hands together, remembering her purpose for stopping me. She then grabbed a blue envelope from her back pocket and gave it to me.

"My baby shower next month, here's the invite! I'll let you go now, see ya later!" She blew a kiss at me before she went to her car. Sasori is seething so I chose not to speak for my own sake.

"You and that insufferable girl kept me waiting to discuss a BABY SHOWER? How far have I fallen..." He hiss the last words. "I am NOT a patient man Miss Valentina. Don't let it happen again." We left for home and may I just say, being in a cramped space with a pissed of ninja like Sasori is rreeaallllyy fucking uncomfortable.

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When I got back I did my chores and fed Sekhmet. I made chicken noodle soup and as I ate I took time to consider my next plan of action. 'Ok, I need to start binge watching the series. It'll go faster if I watch it rather than read it.' I typically like to take my time reading since I'm a slow ass reader and need time to process. 'But when I leave what will I take, what about Sekhmet? And my family! I can't just leave everyone behind without a trace! They'll never stop searching, I can't live with that type of guilt!' I heard a knock at the kitchen door before Itachi came in. He got himself a Styrofoam bowl with a spoon and sat down across from me.

"You seem troubled." I let out a snort.

"That obvious? Damn, I suck. I'm just trying to get my game plan straight but I just hit a bump. I don't want to leave everyone without any closure." Itachi nodded.

"If it makes you feel better, we do have a plan for that. A plan that doesn't envolve killing them." My shoulders relaxed.

"Ya know, it actually does help. Thanks." Itachi nodded, then went back to his soup.

"It looks odd, but the food of your world is actually very good." I smirked.

"Thanks, I made that soup from scratch you know." Itachi allowed a small smile to appear. 'This boy is going to turn me into a horny cougar...' Itachi doesn't look 17 nor does he act it which makes me forget sometimes that he is just a kid. Poor guy has it rough, and so does Deidara for that matter. 'I can't believe there really is a world out there full of shitty assholes sending kids out to fight to the death. Shoot, I can't believe I'm MOVING to said psychotic world.'

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Omake!

"I'm bored, hmph!" 'I have to admit, I'm pretty bored too.'

"What do you want me to do about it?" Deidara glared.

"I don't know! What do YOU usually do when you're bored."

"Tch, read books and watch T.V." I tapped my finger against my chin in contemplation. "Sometimes I like to piss people off on Call of Duty." Deidara raised a brow.

"'Call of Duty'? What is that?"

"It's a video game that you can play on the T.V. with others around the world. Fucking hysterical the kind of people you meet on it." I grinned at Deidara. "If you want, I can show you how to play and we can be assholes together." Deidara considered it for a moment.

"Fine, hmph. I wouldn't mind blowing off some steam."

After I got done setting up the PS3 I showed Deidara how to use the headphones and controls, afterwords we began playing Domination. Before anything started happening I covered the mic and whispered to Deidara.

"Remember, don't give a fuck." Deidara nodded. The Akatsuki were surrounding us watching the screen with piqued interest. Even Pein and Konan joined in to see how this 'video game' worked. The count down came to 0 and immediately I pulled a sniper rifle out and found a spot to camp. Deidara led his character out in the middle of the battle and got shot. ( A/N To avoid confusion I am going to type the person online with * instead of ")

*Looks like we got some lady playing tonight gentlemen. How bout you come here and suck this dick, bitch.* Deidara's jaw dropped at the guy's blatant insult. 'Not surprised that he's stunned. Back home he's a criminal feared by many but here he's nothing.' I found the guy who mocked him and shot him down. Then, I stood up for my partner.

"What was that about sucking dicks you punk ass bitch? Damn, with that attitude the only slut you'll be getting action from is your own ugly pig of a mother." I glanced at Deidara and he's on the verge of laughing his ass off. Hidan IS laughing his ass off. Deidara, now understanding how the game works, killed two guys and stole a checkpoint with some of our teammates. I still camped and took down 3 guys until I got shot.

*You camping fuck. I bet you guzzle cum like ya drink water, whore.* I grinned.

"And I bet you take it up the ass as much as Andy Dufresne from The Shawshank Redemption." The Douche let out an annoyed growl. I camped again and shot 5 more of the enemy. Deidara is REALLY getting the hang of this game and took down multiple targets with a well-placed grenade. He started laughing maniacally at the explosion.

"This is AWESOME, hmph!" The guy on the other end is LIVID.

*You fucking pricks, the guy with you sounds queer!* Deidara lost it.

"What was that!? I will find you and turn you into art you bastard. Art... is an explosion!" And he fucking blew up the guy with an RPG. Most of the Akatsuki already left except for Hidan and Kisame. (Who are getting a kick out of this by the way.)

*What the hell is wrong with you? You sound fucking insane.* I winked at Deidara before getting shot again. It didn't matter though, because the round ended.

"And you sound like some disgusting, unartistic, runt that just lost. HMPH!" I heard some crashing on the other end before he left the lobby. We left the lobby as well afterwords and I sat my headset down.

"Sooooooo?" Deidara is laughing so hard that he curled up on his side.

"That was hilarious! Hmph! Can we do it again?" I grinned from ear to ear and nodded. After awhile I felt something build up in my chest as we kept playing games together. My guess, is that this is what sibling bonding feels like.

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	9. Chapter 9

Reviews are always appreciated and Naruto isn't mine!

Arcami that sounds hilarious!

I'm glad you love it frostedtrees!

Eclipse1 glad you like it! (Poor Hidan)

For those who want me to do fanfiction and fan art don't worry! I have a specific time when I want to use those! :D If you guys ever have an idea to help improve the story let me know, I love hearing them!

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Chapter 9

Today is the day...damn it, I ALWAYS get nervous before a new piercing. The microdermal doesn't scare me in the slightest but I have never had my tongue done in my life. I devoured a whole roll of complimentary smarties in one go and I'm still feeling nauseous. Sasori is glaring at me.

"Calm down before I have to use 'other means' to MAKE you calm down." He said this low enough so no one else could hear, but harsh enough to send a chill down my spine. I whispered back to him.

"I know I need to calm down, I just don't know how. I'm not awesome like you shinobi are." Sasori sighed and preformed a soft face palm.

"Your race of humans are pathetic if everyone handles stress like you." I lowered my head in shame.

"They don't, I'm a fucking scaredy cat." I gave a soft whine as I went to get more smarties. When I got to the counter, Jake came out from the back. Jake is a tall scrawny guy with brown hair and grey eyes. He has tattoos covering nearly every inch of his body with gages in his ears that you could stick your fist through. (If you ask him though, he'll tell you he looks like 'a male model mutha fucka!')

"There's my girl," He came and gave me a huge bear hug. "still nervous about piercings as ever. *sigh* Come on, let's get this done quickly so we can grab a coffee." I stopped him before he went back.

"Uh before we go, I should tell you I brought a new friend with me for support." I motioned to Sasori and Jake's eyebrows rose to his hairline at the sight of the puppet. He leaned down and whispered softly to me.

"Damn, Valentine. I'm as straight as a stripper pole but I'll even admit you won a jackpot." Sasori kept a cool face as he approached, then he stretched his hand to shake Jake's.

"Hello, my name is Skylar Kane." (We discussed his fake name on the way over here.) Jake smiled and gave Sasori's hand a firm shake.

"Nice to meet ya Skylar, people here just call me Jake." Sasori nodded at the name, then we followed Jake back.

"How about we get the tongue piercing out of the way before we move on to replacing that microdermal?"

"P-please Jake." Jake ordered me to rinse my mouth with this antibacterial mouthwash they keep on hand. Then he made me stick my tongue out, to which he patted dry with a paper towel. All the while, I glanced at Sasori occasionally only to see him watching the procedure like a hawk. 'Wouldn't do them any good if I lost the ability to speak I guess...' Jake pulled out a special clamp along with a food dye marker. He clamped my tongue and my heart went into overdrive. 'Ffuucckkiinngg hheellll.' I let out a soft whine in fear. Jake, (Trying to get this done quickly for my sake.) used marker with practiced precision and dotted the top of my tongue, followed by the bottom. He checked his handy work before finally pulling out the needle.

"'Kay, don't be a bitch hon. 1...2..." He rammed the needle in before three. 'BASTARD.' I was expecting an extremely sharp pain so I cringed, but what came instead was a mild pinch. 'Oh...I'm such a pussy.' With a couple moves of the hand he was finished and handed me a towel with another cup of mouthwash. I wiped the drool from my face and rinsed my mouth once more. Jake gave me a yellow pamphlet.

"Not that bad right?" I bobbed my head up and down making him laugh. "Here is everything you need to know about the proper care of tongue rings. Now on to the microdermal. *snicker* Still can't believe you tripped and knocked that bitch out. I took the opportunity and got you a new charm that I think you're gonna like...and if you don't that's too bad." The microdermal as you can imagine went a lot smoother and when it all was finished I looked in a mirror to see what surprise charm Jake gave me for microdermal. (Originally I had a plain diamond stud so it isn't hard to beat.) What I found on my left cheek almost made me bust out the girliest squeal imaginable but I controlled myself. A tiny black heart-shaped gem now sat on my face and it is ADORABLE. I stuck my tongue out only to see a long standard beginner tongue ring but I love that too. 'This was a great idea! Dare I say it... I do dare! I look fucking kawaii bitches!' I beamed at my brother-in-all-ways-but-blood.

"Jake, as always you are the best. Ready for those coffees guys?"

"Fuck yea!"

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Sasori, true to his shinobi title, has a scary ability to manipulate and charm those who don't know any better. By the end of the coffee break he had Jake eating from the palm of his hand, but the moment Jake was gone and we were in the car alone... 'Skylar' went out the window and Sasori returned.

"Your friend is far too gullible. If you ever act so casually with a stranger and get kidnapped I'll let them torture you just to teach you a lesson. I don't even know why you associate with such an unintelligent imbecile like that piece of trash-" I snapped and parked my car on the side of an alleyway. I clenched my hands on the steering wheel till they turned white and spoke with a low growl.

"You can say whatever the hell you want about me Sasori, but leave my friends out of it. Do you people even know the meaning of respect?" I glared at him with all the hate I could muster but Sasori stared back at me without a hint of emotion. "I have one thing that I hold to my name you egotistical asshole, and that's LOYALTY. I suck at everything else heroic, I'll tell you that right now, but Jake along with Amy and Luke are people I'll never allow to be slandered like that no matter what. I hold those three in high regard. I'd appreciate it if you would at least respect THAT." After my tirade I sat there and waited for his response. Sasori crossed his arms and... smirked.

"Loyalty huh? Such a thing will be worthless once we cross to our world. Your petty loyalty means nothing to a shinobi, remember THAT. " I scoffed.

"Maybe to shinobi like yourself, but there are ninja who find trust and loyalty to be above all else." Sasori let out a snide laughter.

"Too bad for you that you won't be dealing with those shinobi...you are dealing with the Akatsuki and the Akatsuki ONLY." I didn't have anything against that so I just laughed back at him and switched into gear.

"Ah, you're right there Sasori, *Tch* thanks for reminding me that I will live my life as your guy's tool from now on. But... don't you dare think that my situation will change my fucking beliefs when concerning those three." He didn't even grace my statement with a response. 'Sometimes I really fucking hate this guy.'

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We both had similar feelings about the fight and just acted like nothing happened in front of everyone. What I said isn't some major security problem so why bother? After awhile it was time to leave and Itachi was the one to accompany me to work and the night was ok, until my lunch break. Rebecca grabbed my shoulders out of no where and dragged me to the break room. She then sat me down in front of Amy. (Amy is an incredibly gorgeous blonde with caramel eyes, a huge bust, and an ass to boot.) Rebecca spoke first.

"Ok, I KNOW I saw you yesterday with a hot red head. Alyx said she spotted you with a sexy albino before that...Now who was the BRUNETTE?" 'Oh shit, I didn't plan for this!' Amy came up to me concerned, she sent Rebecca out who reluctantly obeyed. Once Rebecca left, Amy sat down in a chair infront of me. Amy, well she's an overly worried mother type. I could simply stub a toe and she'd be there with a band aid and ice cream trying to soothe me. So when something is a little off like me being with three strange men she's never met, of course she's going to be nervous.

"Valentine, is there something you're not telling me? Did...did you get mixed up with the wrong people? Just say the world and I will help! You know that!" 'SHE THINKS I OWE MONEY TO GANGSTERS!?... I guess the gangster thing isn't too far off now that I think about it.'

"A-amy it's not like that. I don't owe anyone." She is freaking out.

"It's ok Valentine! You can tell me! We can get through this! Together, like always!" I shook my head.

"I don't owe some gang, I swear. Damn, I appreciate the vote of confidence." Amy finally believed me.

"Then what is it? This is really weird Valentine!" I'm keeping a cool front on the outside but inside I'm breaking down. 'I can't just tell her the truth! They will fucking kill us all! DAMN IT HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS!? CHILD-EATING-LIGERS-AT-A-ZOO! C'MON YOU NEED TO LIE TO HER VALENTINE, FOR HER SAKE! DAMN IT I SUCK AT LYING! I CAN PERSUADE AND AVOID BUT LLYYIINNGG? ESPECIALLY TO MY FUCKING BEST FRIEND? WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO SAY!? Think Valentine...THINK!' I flushed and closed my eyes.

"Amy...I'M A SELF-EMPLOYED PORNSTAR!" Her jaw fell to the floor with an audible *pop* sound.

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Omake!

Kakuzu is walking with me inside the grocery store to buy more milk since we ran out because of...technical difficulties. I told him that I needed to take a stop at the ATM in the front of the store so he followed. In order for him to blend in more he used a transformation jutsu to remove his stitches and make his eyes look normal. He actually is pretty fucking hot, but let's get back to what's happening. When I got to the ATM I swiped my card and dialed in the amount I felt necessary. (I like having cash from my savings in case of emergency and I used the money I had on me already for the Akatsuki so I want to get some more back into my wallet.) As the money started coming out Kakuzu about had an aneurysm. He grabbed the machine forcefully and gaped at me.

"You have machines that give out free MONEY?" People are staring, so I tried to defuse the situation. 'Crap, I should've known he'd freak out about the fucking ATM!'

"It isn't free Kakuzu, let's go start looking for the milk and I'll explain. Please, we are drawing attention!" I grabbed his arm and started pulling. Kakuzu, the whole time, is examining the machine just like how Kakashi examines porn. I had to do alot of convincing to get him to back off but eventually I got us moving. After a long explanation of what an ATM was and how currency worked around here we got our milk and headed back home. Although, I couldn't help but notice the rape face Kakuzu was giving the ATM on the way out.

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The next day I was relaxing on my couch but I heard the door open so I bolted up. 'Who is that? I thought everyone was home!?' In came Kakuzu fucking sauntering into my living room with a sack on his back and a cheesy ass smile on his face.

"K-Kakuzu, what is that?" He tipped the sack and out came a ton of cash. I stumbled back in shock and landed on my ass.

"How? HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT KAKUZU!?" Kakuzu purred.

"Simple, I went to the city over in disguise and busted open any ATM in sight. Such an easy way to make money." I'm babbling like an idiot.

"HUH? You can't-... But, but what about?-. I-I have no idea what to do... The fuck is happening." I smacked my face with both hands trying to regain focus. "You...didn't get seen by any cameras right? Or people?" Kakuzu grunted in annoyance.

"I've been in the business of money longer than you have been alive. Of course I didn't get caught."

"But still...ah fuck it." I got back onto the couch. 'If the greedy ass miser didn't get caught then it's no skin off my nose. We are going to leave this world anyways so why bother?' Kakuzu sat down also and began counting his loot. When I glanced over to him I grinned to myself.

'Besides, I'm pretty sure Kakuzu is about to jizz in his pants.'

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	10. Chapter 10

Reviews are always appreciated and Naruto isn't mine!

Miko Hayashi lol he is pretty sexy. Also Sasori really can be rude but we love him anyways. ;P

Eclipse1 *_Waves back with confused look as you are chased by Kakuzu_.* :D

Kiki's-stories-of-awesomeness probably not lol

Guest reviewer, it's slang for cum. Sorry that I confused you. : )

To Arcami! I'm glad you liked it and thank you for bringing up pairings!

Believe it or not **I** **have no clue who she should end up with guys**! Or even **IF** she should fall in love. There is still a lot to her character that has yet to come up but I was thinking about setting up a poll to see what you guys think during this first part. (I intend for this story to have a sequel.) Let me know if you would like that! Also, how do you guys like the new cover photo? :D

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Chapter 10

Amy scowled and cuffed me hard.

"Don't joke around about that Valentine. Now tell me the truth." I bowed my head.

"Sorry, well uh, I decided to do a charity and house some people from the homeless shelter." Amy tilted her head with a kind smile, then lifted her hand to my cheek but I kept my head down.

"Just like-"

"Amy…I-I don't want to talk about that. Please?" '_I'd prefer it if I never remembered those times.' _Amy placed a kiss on my forehead.

"Ok, just be careful. They could be dangerous." '_You don't even know the half of it. Can anyone say homicidal psychopaths?'_

"N-no problem, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you."

"Don't worry, I understand why. Thank you for telling me though, love you Valentine." Amy giggled and returned to work. '_I feel like the lowest piece of shit on the planet right now_.' Even though I fought against the memories, they still came back. The time where food was a blessing and we had to rely on Luke and Jake for protection. Where home was wherever we could set up camp in the streets…I shivered '_And I used that to pull at her heart strings. I'm a horrible friend.' _Those were dark times and they need to stay in the dark. I pinched my arm, allowing the pain to bring me back to the present. '_I have too much shit to handle right now. I did what I had to in order to protect her and there is no shame in that Valentine!' _

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Kisame picked me up that night and I almost walked right past him. He used a transformation jutsu to get rid of any shark-like features and make his coloring more natural. (Blonde hair and blue eyes combined with a slight tan.) He actually had to grab my arm to get my attention.

"Hey Valentine, it's me." I whirled around to face him.

"No fucking way! That's impressive Kisame, but I liked you better before." Kisame chuckled.

"I think you are the first to ever say that to me." I scoffed.

"You have a pretty large amount of fan girls that would agree, trust me." '_And if they saw you they would rape you on sight.'_ He patted my head.

"I'll take your word for it. Any ways, Leader ordered us to go to 'Walmart' and to bring back supplies for your sealing." I cocked my head to the side.

"I thought Sasori was in charge of that?"

"He is, but he is too busy working on a way home with Leader and Itachi." I nodded.

"Ok, I guess that makes sense. Do you mind if I grab a bite to eat first? I'm starving." Kisame grinned.

"I'm pretty hungry myself, yea lets get something." I unlocked the car door and sat down.

"We should probably grab enough for everyone. Got any ideas?"

"Not a clue…" I snapped my fingers.

"Tacos sound fucking awesome right now, and they are cheap as hell! Yea let's stop at Taco Bell on the way home!" Kisame chuckled again.

"Lead the way."

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Kisame and I had a ball that night. He really is a cool guy and I can definitely see myself becoming friends with him later on. We mainly talked about their world and how it differs from here. He told me at first when they arrived they thought they were being poisoned but it turned out to be our awful pollution! I laughed my ass off at the thought of them scrambling trying to get rid of the poison but in all honesty I kind of started to feel bad for them. I couldn't imagine how it would feel like to be home one second then gone the next in an unfamiliar dimension. At least I will be prepared for when I leave! At the store we had to get a tongue ring with a flat top and bottom, also I had to buy two rings to fit on my fingers. I asked Kisame about the rings but even he doesn't know about their purpose yet. I guess we will have to wait until Sasori decides to tell us. The Akatsuki and I kind of started to form a routine as everyone gathered their bearings and grew accustomed to the situation. I found myself being more relaxed around my house mates and even Sekhmet has started to get along with the guys. Would you believe that I found no other than fucking Itachi playing with her the other day!? As you can imagine time flew by and it has now been a month since the Akatsuki moved into my home. Today Sasori called me downstairs into the kitchen where I found him and Leader.

"Your mouth should be healed by now, it's time to seal you." I blanched.

"Ffuucckk, is it going to hurt?" Sasori let out a sigh.

"No, it shouldn't hurt. But even if it did it doesn't matter, we need it done." I nodded.

""kay," He motioned me to sit into a chair so I obliged. "So I'm curious, how does this work."

"What you are asking for is a lengthy explanation that would take up too much of my time... Although, I guess you should know at least understand the basics. The seal that I am placing in your mouth with react when words that we deem classified are about to be spoken without us present. Since you yourself repel chakra, the seal will only effect the sound waves of your voice. It will instantly absorb the waves making you momentarily mute. I also added a seal on the bottom so that you won't be able to lie to us. Now do you remember the rings I had you acquire."

"Oh yea! What are those used for?"

"To prevent you from writing sensitive information, if you attempt to they will disturb the gravitational pull on your hand making it impossible…all you would be able to make are scribbles." I nodded choosing not to speak. '_This is it, after this you are officially their fucking property. Ugh, why does that sound so kinky?_' Sasori clasped his hand around my jaw making my mouth open. '_So glad that I just had a tic tac. Oh wait he probably can't smell! Dduuhh.' _He took out the beginner tongue ring and grabbed the one he made from the table. His hands, just damn his hands. Even though they are not organic they moved with such a fluid motion as he worked on my seal. Once in place he formed a hand sign and gently touched the top. I felt a cool rush of air over the seal and Sasori pulled back.

"That one is complete, now on to your hands." He gave me the rings and I pulled them onto both of my pointer fingers. He performed another hand sign and the same feeling swept across my skin. "It is done." I examined the rings on my hands. They are silver with very, VERY intricate black detailing around the front which I assume is the seal. They kind of look like One Ring from The Lord of the Rings movie. I stared wide-eyed at Sasori.

"This is amazing, they are just so beautiful. I never knew being tagged like a cow would look so fucking awesome! I see why you call yourself an artist Sasori." He smirked at the compliment.

"If you think that these are beautiful then you should see my collection. They are the definition of 'true art'." A chill ran down my spine at the thought of seeing his decked out carcasses.

"Well, uh, we will be working together for a while so I'm sure we can find the time. The thought of people being turned into puppets is a little unsettling but I'm…interested." Pein interrupted us.

"As you said, there will be plenty of time for you to get familiar with your superiors. Right now, it is time that you are filled in on the status of our current mission." I cocked my head to the side.

"Mission?" Leader nodded.

"Yes, us returning home."

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Omake!

After the night of the attack, my dreams have been haunted by nightmares of HIM. Nightmares where Konan…wasn't there to intervene. They went on for at least a couple of weeks before finally I started sleeping with my taser gun. I still have one every once in a while, but not nearly as much as before. Tonight, well it is not a good night.

(Rape scene begins here!)

_He forced my face into his hips and his disgusting dick is in my mouth. Even though it's the size of a pen cap I'm still suffocating. The sick bastard is laughing at me._

_ "__You aren't sucking baby!" He tapped the top of my head with the barrel of the gun. My lips closed around his manhood and slowly but surely I started to suck. 'He fucking tastes awful! Like spoiled milk!' The grip on my head tightened as he thrusts into my mouth. He let out a moan as he ascended into ecstasy. What felt like hours went by as he fucked my mouth until finally he reached his climax. "FUCK YES!" He slipped his cock out and jerked it off into my face. I had to wipe the fluids out of my eyes but once I was done I noticed that the gun is pointed at me._

_ "__B-b-but…I DID WHAT YOU WANT!" He grinned._

_ "__You really thought I would let you go so you could squeal to the cops? You're such a dumb bitch!" Adrenaline kicked in and I grabbed the barrel, pointing it away from me. Both sides struggled trying to gain control of the weapon, but no matter what I tried I could feel my grip slip. Eventually he kneed my gut causing me to double over. I looked back up, staring straight into the gun._

_ "__Well this was fun! Later slut!" I screamed as he pulled the trigger._

(Scene done!)

"Valentine?" It's dark inside the room, all I could see was a figure loom over me. I pulled out the taser from under my pillow and shot without a second thought.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" The wires that shot out made contact and the figure went down. After a moment, realization struck me like a main bitch that found out about her man's side bitch. 'I was having a nightmare, it was just a nightmare. But then, who did I just?-' I dropped the gun and went to my Blackout blinds. I pushed them to the sides, bringing light into my bedroom. I looked back to see Itachi twitching on my floor face down. I yelled at the top of my lungs

"OH FUCK ME SIDEWAYS SENPAI! ITACHI!" I heard running coming from downstairs as I rolled Itachi on his back. The entire Akatsuki are in my room including the night watch. Pein came and grabbed the front of my tank top.

"What did you do to my subordinate! TELL ME before you feel the wrath of a God!" I struggled against his grip.

"I was having a fucking nightmare so I tased him on accident! It's non-lethal I swear but he is in pain right now sir!" Leader let go of my shirt.

"He will be fine though?" I nodded.

"Yes, the gun just shocks the victim. It doesn't kill!" Deidara walked in and stood beside the still twitching Uchiha. He picked up the trigger end of the gun.

"This little thing, took out ITACHI!?" Curiously, he pulled on the trigger causing another charge to attack the poor kid. Itachi spasmed even more as the charge racked his body and he let out a strained moan of pain. Deidara had a face of pure joy before I smacked the weapon from his hand.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" I yanked the wires out of Itachi as Deidara snorted.

"Having fun! Hmph!" Sasori yanked the back of his shirt and dragged him out of the room against his will.

"Brat…"

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	11. Chapter 11

Reviews are always appreciated and Naruto isn't mine!

Thanks to everyone that reviewed! (Eclipse1, Miko Hayashi, Guest, and Arcami.) I decided against the poll because now I know what I'm going to do! Yay! Arcami I love that idea! So I am definitely gonna use it in the future. :D

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Chapter 11

"Ok Leader." Pein ordered Sasori out of the kitchen before speaking.

"We have been developing a teleportation seal this past month but I assume you already knew that."

"Yea I do, how long will it take you?" Pein pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Nowhere near as fast as I would prefer. 6 months is our approximate waiting period." '_Today is July 19, so we should be leaving sometime in January._'

"Got it, what do you need me to do?"

"You will continue to work and provide for the Akatsuki during this time. We will also prepare you for our world so that you could live on your own without drawing attention. You are officially the Akatsuki's informant, you shall only share info with me unless told otherwise. Any questions?"

"Uh yea, when do you want me to start 'informing' you? Because there is some shit you should know before we switch worlds." '_Like Madara is really Obito and we need to either change him, kill him, or get the fuck away from him. Also, you need to rethink your game plan because that tailed beast hunt won't do shit for you! But more importantly, we need to figure out a way to prevent Kaguya from reviving before that bitch becomes a problem!_'

"Although I wish to know what you have to say this moment. I need to be able to focus on the seal construct without any distractions. If I so much as word a line of this seal wrong, everyone will die." '_Well now I'm scared shitless.' "_Once I have the construct done we will have this discussion again." '_Damn it he's right, if I dropped this on him right now he may fuck up something on the seal. This is for the best.'_

"As long as I am able to talk to you before we go. It really is serious Leader." Pein gave a short nod in understanding before leaving me inside my kitchen.

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Konan came in after Leader left and handed me my phone! '_FFUUCCKK YEA!_' I checked all of my social networkings and text messages, only to find that I'm one lonely fuck. I smashed my face on the table as I realized no one even TRIED to contact me.

"I need a man…"

"Good luck with that one you ugly bitch!" '_Ya know, Hidan always seems to pop up at the worst moments_.' He laughed as he grabbed a snack and left the room still laughing his head off. I lifted my face an inch from the table, just to smash it back down again.

"You don't need to be so mean about it…" I said with a whine.

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A couple weeks went by, but my patience is wearing thin as time passes. After the incident with Itachi, Leader confiscated my taser. Meaning, my nightmares came back with a vengeance. Every night I wake up in a pool of my own sweat with tears down my face. Now some may ask why don't talk I to someone? Who do I go to for this!? Amy would have a conniption if she found out I got attacked! And Luke would team up with Jake to hunt the guy down so they could kill him. I really don't want to deal with that! The Akatsuki? Don't make me laugh! They don't give a shit about my nightmares! They'll be the first to tell you. I have no one to vent to, besides it's ridiculous that I'm still so freaked out by the attack. He didn't succeed so why am I still hung up on it? It's Sunday night and the guys are giving me calculated looks as I sipped on ANOTHER coffee. Kakuzu decided to break the silence.

"You look like hell." I snorted.

"It's not very fucking gentlemanly to tell a girl she looks like hell Kakuzu. Didn't your mother teach you that?" He chuckled a bit.

"I am an S-ranked criminal, that paired with the word 'gentlemanly' doesn't really mix well." I grinned.

"True…but yea I already know, it's not a big deal." '_Drop it Kakuzu, none of us want to talk about my fucking problems.' _Kisame spoke up.

"He's right, is something bothering you?" I tried to say it was nothing, but no noise came out. I brought both hands to my throat in shock. The seal has never had to react yet so this is the first time when it made me mute. It felt so weird talking but with no sound. Kisame glared towards me.

"Did you just try to lie to us? You know I can't stand liars." I slouched over with a blush on my cheeks, embarrassed about being caught.

"Yea, I was trying to say that nothing is wrong. But I guess that's a lie. Just, I don't want to talk about it. It's stupid." Kisame nodded.

"Fair enough, hey Sasori how is that seal coming?" Sasori growled in annoyance.

"It's taking way too long, but we don't have any other options. Still, I am growing weary of this world." Kakuzu closed his eyes.

"I am tired of this place myself." I laughed my ass off.

"You guys can live without having to fight for your lives on a consistent basis, and you hate it. That's so fucked up." Sasori sounded bored as he spoke.

"Well we are shinobi, and usually we are the ones doing the killing." I glanced at all three.

"Damn, that's even more fucked up, but whatever gets you hard is your business." Sasori seemed disgusted but at least Kakuzu and Kisame can appreciate some good, wholesome, dirty humor.

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Omake!

'_At least I have my phone! That means I can start playing music again!_' I got up out of my seat in the kitchen and walked to the far left corner where my small speaker system was. '_I haven't made cookies in a while too! Cooking…with music? Man I miss that shit!' _With that in mind I plugged my phone in. I scrolled through the music options until I found my favorite Ellie Goulding playlist. I made sure that the volume was low so that I didn't freak out the guys and started 'My Blood'. Ellie's voice filled my kitchen so with that done I got to work making some homemade cookies. I hummed along as I grabbed my ingredients and got lost in my task. I mixed my butter, sugar, flour, and other things necessary for cookies with a potato masher. (Because I don't have a fucking hand mixer…don't judge.) I felt myself relax for the first time since the night of the attack and damn is that a welcomed feeling. I grabbed a spoon as I got a baking sheet with some Pam. I prepared the sheet so I could start scooping the dough until I realized half way through that I forgot to pre-heat the oven. As I went to do that the playlist switched to 'Starry Eyed'. I closed my eyes and sighed in relief. '_What is it about her voice that makes me feel high as fuck?_' During my moment of ecstasy, I heard someone clear his throat behind me. I turned to see who it was and Pein stood there with his arms crossed giving me a stern look.

"I gave you that back in case you needed to contact people. Not to play that trash." I gasped dramatically and grabbed my chest as if my heart was injured.

"You don't like Ellie Goulding!? Are you even human? This bitch is my favorite!" Pein dropped his arms, then pointed to the speaker.

"Whoever that is sounds like a dying bird. Turn it off, NOW." I groaned.

"Aw c'mon Leader! It's not fucking hurting anyone!" I heard a shout from Kakuzu in the other room.

"I beg to differ! Turn that shit off." I heard a collection of agreements so I reluctantly stopped my music.

"You guys are so mean to me! I house and feed you without complaint and this is what I get! You ungrateful bastards! Don't expect any cookies!" Pein ignored my tantrum and left me alone, having accomplished what he came here for. I huffed as I finished what I sat out to do. I popped the desserts in the oven and set the timer. I then played games (with no sound) to pass the time while they cooked. I have to admit, I make one HELL of a cookie. The ones in the oven have three different chocolate chips inside. (Milk, Dark, and White) I had to wait about 12 minutes but when I opened that oven. I about came. The smell for some reason stayed inside all this time but when the door was opened the deliciousness exploded all around me.

"Aaaahhhhh this is hheeaavveenn." I pulled out the pan and placed it on the stove. I went to get a plate, because I have no intention of letting these cool, but I was interrupted again.

"Bitch what the fuck are THOSE?" Hidan started drooling a bit but I scowled.

"Aw hell no, they are off-limits to ninja! You guys made me turn off my music so you don't get shit! NOTHING in our agreement said I had to make you assholes sweets. These are ALL mine." During my rant I plated the soft cookies, only needing one plate for the entire dozen. Hidan laughed at my statement.

"Or what? Like you can stop me slut!" I thought fast and did the only thing I could think of. I picked up one of the delicious morsels, and ate it. Hidan moved instantly…kicking out his leg making my lower half fly up. I released the cookies mid-fall, then landed straight on my face in a scorpion position. Hidan caught the plate without dropping a single one and walked away as he munched on the cookies.

"Fucking told ya you couldn't stop me, you dumb bitch." I heard the door close but I didn't correct my position. No, I just sat there with my face in the ground and my legs in the air as I cried.

"But-but I really wanted those damn cookies…" '_Fuck…my…life.'_

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Author's note: If you don't know what a scorpion position is then look up images of 'Scorpion fall.' It's priceless. :D


	12. Chapter 12

Reviews are always appreciated and Naruto isn't mine!

Thanks for reviewing Miko!

Eclipse1 I laughed my ass off when I read that. *Valentine sees the cake through her tears and grabs it warily. She then shrugs before eating the whole cake.* _'I don't know who brought that, but it was the best damn cake I have ever eaten.' _Thank you!

Thank you AliceV I'm glad you like it! :D

Arcami I love that omake idea! So using it! Thanks!

Corinna, I honestly wish they were nicer too -_-…. But this is how I would think they would react in reality. Also sorry that I made you crave cookies. That's hell on earth and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy! I am happy that you love it so much, thank you!

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Chapter 12

_2 days later._

'_I need a fucking vacation…' _It is 5 O'clock in the evening so everyone is up but as you could imagine…That means people are fighting. Today it's Sasori and Deidara over 'true art' and yesterday it was Hidan having a one sided fight with Kakuzu…Until Kakuzu chopped off his head. (You can guess who the sorry bitch that had to clean that mess up was.) Even previous to that Deidara and Hidan were bitching to Leader about not being able to kill. The list goes on and on so I repeat, I NEED A FUCKING VACATION. I have tried to help them get out of the house more but every time I offer they blow me off saying that they didn't want to have anything to do with my world. I am gritting my teeth as Sasori coolly tells Deidara that pretty much he thinks he is an idiot. I scratched the back of my ear when Deidara rebutted with 'You have no grasp of art Sasori-my-man! How can you label me when you can't understand! Hmph!' I saw Sasori about to argue some more but I had it. I rashly stood up and dialed Luke, who I can imagine will need a break as well. It took three rings but he answered.

"Hey Val, how's my girl." Luke is the only one I know who calls me Val.

"You, me, Dark Fantasies in an hour. I need to grab some ones." Luke sighed in relief.

"Yes PLEASE! I will be there. Just let me call Amy in to take your shift. She contacted me not too long ago saying that you looked like you could use a break."

"You have no idea. But hey I will talk to you more when we meet. See ya Luke."

"You too!" I ended the call and grabbed my purse in complete silence. I stayed silent until I got to the door.

"I need a break so I will be at this male strip club called Dark Fantasies if you need me." I turned to leave but I hesitated. I decided to turn back around to say one last thing. "Also…" I flipped a couple of birds. "FUCK, every last one of you. I haven't had ONE decent night of sleep in a month but you fucking cock suckers have your heads shoved so far up your own asses that you can't physically GIVE A SHIT." I pointed a thumb behind me. "I need a break from you, so LATER." I left, not caring one bit when I closed the door on their shocked faces.

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I got my ones and reached the male strip club exactly one hour later. Luke was waiting at the front door wearing a black tee with jeans. I waved at him with a goofy grin and he returned the gesture with an added hug.

"Oh my gosh this is going to be awesome! Let's go!" We walked in without another word. The building smelled like man and there is a guy in an anime school boy uniform dancing with his shirt unbuttoned causing my saliva glands to overload.

"FUCK…YES!" Luke and I held hands as we skipped merrily to the bar without a shit to be given! I ordered a strawberry daiquiri while Luke got a Miami vice. He ran his hands through his tan hair as he glanced over to me with his blue eyes.

"How many ones?" I smirked.

"250, you?"

"Nice, I got 300. Shall we continue?" He wiggled his eyebrows and I laughed my ass off. We got ourselves a table front and center… And we fucking made it rain in the club.

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I got one more lap dance with a guy dressed up in a sexy firefighter get up before I called it a night….Well I should say morning. We left the club at 3 a.m. but we wanted to catch up some more so off to Tim Hortons! (Don't worry, we only had the one drink and the alcohol is out of our systems at this point.) I got a bagel with a shit ton of cream cheese and a latte before I sat down in front of Luke. As usual he started our conversations.

"So I heard you took in some strays! Are they the reason you are so stressed?" I groaned at the mention of my 'strays.'

"YYEESS, they bicker like children and I can't shut them up! Luke I have offered to take them camping, fishing, barbecuing, dancing, exploring…the list goes on forever. All of that JUST to get them out of my fucking house! But they refuse AND WON'T STOP THE DAMN FIGHTING. *_sigh* _But what about you? How have you been?" I started eating my bagel as Luke ranted.

"Just as fantastic! My alcohol providers are trying to charge me a fortune with taxes that I have never heard of! My lawyers are on it but I have been trying to find another company to fill the gap in the meantime. Can we switch jobs? Just for a couple months?" I giggled a bit at his sarcasm.

"The business would go under in a fucking day if I took over Luke! Nah, I'll stay where I am thank you very much!" '_At least for the next few months... NO, not now! If I think about that I will burst into tears in front of Luke! He can't suspect anything!' _I gripped the latte to help calm my nerves and thankfully he didn't notice shit.

"You need more confidence! Although you're probably right…still love you though!"

"Love you too, but you are an ass." We kept talking throughout the night losing track of time. I haven't laughed so hard in what felt like forever! I have been so stressed out with the nightmares and the Akatuski so it's nice to be around a friend…but… eventually all I will have are just the nightmares and the Akatsuki. On the ride home my emotions took a 180 and tears began to escape my eyes as I thought about how I am going to lose everything I hold dear in my life. Luke, Jake, and Amy along with Sekmet and my HOME. I have so many memories here. Many good, some by far the worst I could've imagined. I worked so fucking hard to be where I am at but for what? To have it all yanked away from me by FICTIONAL CHARACTERS? This sucks! But if I try to escape they won't kill me. No, I thought about it once only to realize that more than likely they would kill who I hold most dear in order to force obedience. I arrived at my home, but I stayed in my car a few moments before heading in. '_Damn._.._They probably are going to be furious the moment I enter. It's 6 so many of them are awake now meaning…Oh shit Leader is going to BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF ME!'_ I had just remembered my earlier outburst. '_I am soooooo SCREWED! Maybe I should stay at a hotel? Oh fuck is that KISAME COMING TO THE CAR WHERE THE FUCK DID HE COME FROM!' _I stuffed my earlier emotions into the deep recesses of my heart as Kisame strolled up and knocked on my window casually. I got out of the car but kept my head down.

"I'm in trouble. Right?" He chuckled a bit causing me to snap my head up.

"Why would you be in trouble? No, we all snap every once in a while. It was only a matter of time. I'm just surprised you lasted so long! Hell even Itachi lost it before you." Oh yea, I forgot about when Itachi chucked a butter knife at Deidara! "We were shocked at first about the 'male strip club' but nothing major. As if any of us can judge. Hell those two 'artists' even stopped fighting after words." I stared at him wide eyed.

"Oh, ok. Um was there something you wanted to ask me?" Kisame grinned.

"Well some of us decided to take you up on that one offer. The one about camping?" I smiled genuinely from ear to ear. '_No way,_

"Awh hell yea!" '_Miracles DO happen!'_

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Omake!

I have been watching Naruto on my laptop whenever I couldn't sleep but a thought popped up into my mind. '_If Naruto is real then…AW FUCK.' _I ran full speed to my DVD shelf downstairs in my living room and pulled out another of my all-time favorite animes…FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST! Sasori was looking skeptically at me so I answered his question without him even having to ask.

"I just thought about how you guys are real and wondered if alchemy is real too!"

"What is 'alchemy'?"

"It's this really cool science that these guys in here can do where they draw a circle on the floor, add matter of equal worth, and create shit!" Sasori face palmed.

"I understand the thought of us being reality must be shocking but I highly doubt those other 'animes' are the same. Especially one like that." I pouted at the puppet.

"But it wouldn't fucking hurt to try!" Sasori gave a long, drawn out sigh.

"This is idiotic, I thought you had more sense than this." I placed my hands on my hips.

"It's not idiotic to be curious damn it! You know what, I don't even know why I am fighting with you! I am going to test this out!" I went into my room and grabbed a marker with paper. I sat before my laptop then searched for the episode where Al fixes that broken radio. I copied the circle onto the sheet of paper and came back downstairs to try it. Sasori never moved from his spot, making smirk.

"What happened to this being 'idiotic'?" Sasori scowled.

"I just want to witness when you fail." '_A.k.a I am bored as fuck and just as curious. But I am supposed to hold myself to a higher standard than these shenanigans so I'll act all superior.' _So typical Sasori… We both went outside to my car where I got my old radio I kept in there for no good reason. I placed the circle on the sidewalk with some rocks on the corners so it didn't blow away. I lifted the radio to Sasori and he cocked an eyebrow at me.

"Yes?"

"Can you cut this in half with one of your bad ass blade wings please?" He sighed but lifted a side of his shirt so a blade could slice the thing in half without messing up his clothes. I put the broken radio on the ground and with the nessacery steps in place, it is time for the fun part.

"Ok Sasori, let's do this shit!"

"Must you always be so vulgar?"

"Fuck yea I must! Well here we go!" I clapped my hands before slamming them onto the circle and wouldn't you be fucking surprised!...Nothing happened.

"Aw C'MON! I was hoping that would work! I thought I'd finally have something on you guys! I was going to make trees like Hashirama! This sucks!" Sasori closed his eyes and sighed again.

"As I said, idiotic. This was a waste of my time." He walked back inside without another word while I mourned over my failed project. '_Damn, that means no Ed or Al. No Hawkeye…and fuck NO SEXY ROY MUSTANG. I would've went to the ends of the universe in a mini skirt to get some action with him!'_

_(But…little did our heroine know. She hadn't completely closed one of the triangles. Making the circle useless.)_

_Central City _

Roy Mustang is sitting at his office sorting through his paperwork at break neck speeds. He waited till the last second to finish these again but he was interrupted by a sneeze. Roy smirked at his men sitting in the room.

"Hear that gentlemen? There was a pretty lady talking about me!" Fuery just shook his head at him.

"Must you say that every time you sneeze Colonel?"

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	13. Chapter 13

Thank you AliceV!

I'm glad you liked it Miko! I would have too if I was her. -_-'

Arcami thank you! I always love your omake ideas!

I love those ideas Eclipse1! Thank you!

Kiki's-stories-of-awesomeness, she would probably binge watch Fullmetal like crazy. But in the end nothing would change because she still wouldn't be strong enough to fight off the Akatsuki. Thanks for reviewing!

Thanks Corrina :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD ! We do get to see the camping trip! And WHAT, bad cookies!? *Small tear escapes eye.*

EverCryptic I can just picture him say it ya know? Thank you!

Reviews are always appreciated and Naruto isn't mine!

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Chapter 13

I called the next day to give Luke a month ahead notice. I also borrowed camping gear from everyone I worked with. The ones going with me are Deidara, Itachi, Kisame, Hidan, and Kakuzu. Pein, Konan, and Sasori wanted to stay home so that they could work on the seal in peace while everyone is away. (I can't blame them either, it really was getting ridiculous in the house.) Tonight is a week before the trip and I am at Rebecca's baby shower having a good time. She is pregnant with a boy so everything in her apartment is decked out in blue. I know Rebecca can do this, she may be a gossip queen but she is also hard worker that will be a great mother. We are doing a name drawing right now where Rebecca reads off anonymous names we suggest for the baby. Some of them are sweet… while some are just fucking ridiculous.

"OOOOOooooooooo! I like this one! Blake Alexander, how cute! Who wrote this one!?" I raised my hand.

"I thought you would like it. It's one sexy ass name!" Rebecca gave me a quick hug before reading some more names.

"Robert Downey the Third? Really Brigitte? I know you are addicted to Iron Man but c'mon." '_You know, most would assume that Brigitte is only kidding but in all the months that I have known her I can tell you right now that she isn't. Fucking crazy fan girl.' _The blonde whined a bit before allowing Rebecca to continue.

"Anyways… aawwww Zack Ray!" Amy piped up.

"That one's mmmeeeee!" The night went on for hours with a ton of baby related games. There was this one game we played throughout the party that if you said baby you got your beaded necklace stolen. We had fun, shared some laughs but eventually I had enough and wanted to head home. I told everyone good bye then went out to my motorcycle. '_Why does this feel so oddly familiar…?' _That's when I saw it. Saw HIM… Standing right beside my bike. The man who caused my nightmares. The one who attacked me all those nights ago. My heart dropped 50 degrees. '_Oh no, please God no, no, no, nononononono!' _ The asshole from THAT night grinned at me.

"Well, well, well. Who would've guessed that you would come to MY neighborhood sugar tits? I tried to meet up with you earlier but every time I saw you, you had some new boy toy to protect you. Have you been whoring around on me? It's ok, I'll forgive you just this once! AFTER the makeup sex!" He took a step forward but I took one back. My knees started to shake and my mouth felt dry. For some reason I could've sworn I felt a jolt of electricity from my tongue and hands. The man called out to me again.

"It's nice that my house is only down the road! Time to head home hon!" He bolted ahead leaving me confused. '_Wait, where is this guy's gun? Unless….' _I prepared myself for the fight, already knowing I can't out run him. '_UNLESS THIS DUMBASS FORGOT IT!'_ He swung for my face but I was prepared for that and dodged. Then I kicked him in the nuts making him crumble in pain.

"BITCH, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS GO FOR THE NUTS!?" Remembering last time, I punched his head while he was tending his wound. He grunted in pain but I didn't stop hitting. '_I need to make sure he can't grab me like last time. I need to knock this fucker out!'_ I kept hitting till he grabbed one of my wrists unexpectantly and twisted it behind my back. His other arm wrapped around my throat, starting to choke me.

"I don't need a gun to tame you sweetie. You were weak then and you are weak now!" I tried to tell him to 'Fuck himself' but all that came out was a cough. My vision is becoming dark around the edges. '_Shit, be smarter than him Valentine!'_ I began pretending to pass out, hoping my act was believable. I let out one more strangled groan and let my body go limp. The asshole didn't even hold me up. He just allowed my body to fall to the ground. I stayed in character and fell into the asphalt trying not to wince at the pain. My attacker laughed, believing that he was successful. He wrapped his arms around my hips and lugged me onto his shoulders. Once I was settled he started walking to his home. I allowed myself to peek a little to see where I am and I got a face full of crotch. '_Ok, so I am slung over his shoulder facing forward. Be patient….1…..2…3…..4…..5….6…NOW!" _I launched myself up then wrapped my arm around his throat, locking it in with my other one. I also locked my legs around him making sure I wouldn't be knocked off. He coughed and clawed my arms till they bled but I refused to let go. He then tried to fall on his back in order to knock me off and even that didn't work. This asshole has been haunting me for weeks…If he didn't attack me none of this would have happened! I would have been on my way home without meeting the Akatsuki. I wouldn't be worrying over leaving my world, I would have been worried if I forgot to feed my cat! Instead of fearing for my life on a near daily basis I would only fear the spider I found in my fucking shower! The list goes on forever just because of THIS ONE DUMB ASS MAN. What was once seconds turned to 30 seconds. Then a minute….finally 5 minutes passed with me never releasing my grip. I felt his body panic before going limp. It wasn't until my arms became sore that realized what I did. I jumped up and stuck my fingers on the side of his neck…..I can't find a pulse. '_Oh please fuck no! I didn't! I couldn't have!' _I put my ear to his chest but there is no heartbeat. '_No not again….' _I am sobbing like crazy, crying my eyes out without any regard for the tears that fell on the corpse.

'_I ended another one. I erased another person from the earth. I destroyed another's family…. Ihurtedanother, Iscrewedupanother'slife, Ishatteredanother'sdreams, Imadeanotherfuneral, Godwillneverforgivemeforanother!…_

_I murdered another man.'_

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Omake!

It is the first day of kindergarten and my foster parent dropped me off at the front. It wasn't time to line up yet so I sat on a bench with my head down. Other kid's parents are staying around the school yard and crying over 'How big their kid is' making me want to kick their shins. '_They act like this is some big deal…people do it every year…' _But I couldn't help the hole in my heart that I felt. '_They are all stupid! I hate them! I don't want parents like that anyways!' _Someone poked my shoulder so I snapped out of it then I glanced up. A boy my age smiled and waved in my face.

"Hello, earth to weird girl pouting on the bench. You know you should be happier!" I scowled at the blonde boy.

"I can be whatever I want and if I don't want to be happy I can! Leave me alone!" The boy smiled even more.

"Nah, I can stand wherever I want and if I want to stand here I can!" I am fuming as I stood up. I pushed against him causing the kid to step back.

"I said leave me alone! I don't even know who you are!" The blond boy laughed at me.

"Well why didn't you ask? I'm Grayson Carter! And yyooouu?"

"None of your business!" Grayson stuck out his hand like he wanted me to shake it but I smacked away. No matter what I did, he wouldn't stop smiling.

"Well 'None of your business' how about we be friends?" I yanked on my hair, pulling out a few strands.

'_Is this kid stupid or something!?'_

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Author's note- HOLY CRAP YES! We are at that time where things about Valentine are going to come out in the open! Things that I planned on before I even thought of the Akatsuki in this story. It could have been anyone who met her but this would have still happened. I planned this when I was first making her character! So I hope you are excited!


	14. Chapter 14

AliceV I am glad you are excited! Because I am too!

Reviews are always appreciated and Naruto isn't mine!

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Chapter 14

I sat there with the body for what felt like forever but no one showed. No one screamed at the sight of the corpse and no one has called the cops yet. '_Why am I so fucking stupid, this guy was my attacker but he didn't deserve to die!' _I clenched my head as the guilt washed over me. I can't stop crying due to the pain in my chest..._'I-I don't deserve to live…' _I felt a rush of air behind me paired with a chuckle from Kisame.

"My, my… I was sent here because your seals signaled that you were in danger but apparently you can defend yourself. Good job…" He patted my back harshly until I lashed out and smacked his hand away. I am glaring at him with so much hatred and malice that he even FLINCHED. I still have tears in my eyes!

"Do NOT tell me I did a fucking good job, damn it! I MURDERED SOMEONE! It's not some awesome feat, it's the lowest thing anyone can do! I NEVER WANTED TO KILL ANOTHER PERSON AGAIN! But apparently Lady Luck is a whore and wants to fuck with me! You, you people make me sick! Anyone who can be happy for someone killing is FUCKED UP IN THE HEAD! I'M FUCKED UP IN THE HEAD FOR EVEN WANTING TO LIVE ANYMORE! I thought I owed it to him… to keep on moving…but I am an idiot! My life has caused TWO deaths now and that's unacceptable! You're called the 'Comrade Killer of the Hidden Mist' right Kisame? Well please, FUCKING KILL ME!" I held out my hands so he had a clear shot to my chest. "I don't want to be your informant, I don't want to be a bartender, I want to just leave this life and NEVER RETU-"He back handed my face making me cut off my tirade.

"You are in shock and need to get over it. Whether you want to live or not doesn't matter because we need what you have. You don't get a choice. I am surprised that you know so much of my past though, Valentine. And yet you never acted like you did. Why don't you fear me?" I held my sore cheek, flinching at the pain.

"I killed a man and this is what you want to fucking talk about? WHY I DON'T FEAR YOU? _Pppffftttttt, _I can't believe this! I wasn't scared only because I knew if I stayed useful and not a burden you would have no reason to kill me. As simple as that!" Kisame frowned.

"Yea, you killed someone who looks pretty familiar to me. Isn't that the guy who tried to rape you the first night we all met? If you ask me he deserved it…"

"Yes he attacked me but that doesn't mean I get to-" Kisame grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled me close to his face.

"Don't be stupid! If you didn't kill him I would have when I got here and you are probably more merciful than I'd ever be!" I screamed at Kisame.

"YOU ACT LIKE THIS CHANGES ANYTHING! I STILL MURDERED HIM!" Kisame yelled back.

"TRUST ME YOU SAVED HIM A LOT OF HURT BECAUSE I MAY BE A COMRADE KILLER BUT I DON'T TAKE SOMEONE ELSE KILLING MY COMRADES VERY NICELY!" This made me freeze.

"W-w-what do you mean?" Kisame dropped his grip from my shirt.

"You are the closest thing to a friend I have had for a long time. You and Itachi. And if anyone tries to kill you it will be me. End of story." I dropped to my knees then stared at the ground surprised. '_Did Kisame call me…a friend? But he is Akatsuki, they don't care about making friends!' _I felt a hand begin petting my hair. When I looked up I saw it was Kisame with his trade mark smirk.

"We can yell about this all night but we need to get rid of the body and get you out of this place. Stay here." I watched Kisame as he pulled a scroll from his pocket and held it over the body. The man's corpse disappeared in a puff of smoke without a trace. Not even the blood was there. Next he opened the scroll a little more and headed over to my bike where he repeated the process. He walked back to me then held out his hand.

"We don't have to go back yet if you don't want." I grabbed his hand and nodded slowly.

"I…would like that. Kisame?"

"Yea?"

"Can we get some fucking ice cream? I feel like gaining a couple pounds tonight." He laughed at that.

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We had to walk a couple blocks but we eventually found a Cold Stone that was open. I got a huge ass bowl of vanilla with white chocolate chips while Kisame just got chocolate. When we walked out of the shop I almost dropped my ice cream because Kisame scooped me up in one arm and started to scale a tall building beside us. I let out a small squeak of fear but calmed down when we got to the top. You can see the entire city from here and even though it's dark, it's gorgeous. The lights shined like lightning bugs over the expanse captivating me into a serene trance. I sat on the edge of the building with my legs over the edge, staring out at the beautiful scene. Kisame did the same and for a while we just sat there in silence, eating ice cream. Kisame, after a couple minutes, decided to break the silence.

"So…you said he wasn't the first you killed…" I sniffed a bit as new tears started to form.

"No, he's not. Before him I killed a man named Grayson Carter. We were both 16 when it happened." I took a bit of ice cream but it didn't stop the sob that choked out.

" I know this is a little soon but I'm curious. What did you do to kill him?" I took a deep breath. '_I can't believe I am going to tell him this. I haven't told anyone but Amy. Not even Luke and Jake know this much.'_

"Simple, I existed…"

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Omake!

Grayson never left me alone. We have class together, we have lunch together, we are even at recess together! I have done everything I could to get him to leave me alone but he won't go away! I am even trying to swing by myself and he keeps on pushing the swing for me.

"STOP, I am fine on my own!" He laughed.

"I know but this is fun! C'mon it's not hurting you!" I tried to kick him in the face as I swung back but he side stepped away from it.

"It's ANNOYING, why won't you leave me alone!?" Grayson stopped my swing then grinned at me.

"Because you are sad and I hate it when someone is sad! So I need to make you feel better." I started pouting at the blonde.

"I don't need you Grayson! I don't want your help!" Grayson poked one of my pouting cheeks. He pulled his hand away fast when I tried to bite it.

"Just because you don't want it doesn't mean you don't need it 'None of you business'!" I gritted my teeth as I tried to figure a way out of this. '_Maybe if I just stop fighting him…'_

"Valentina." I mumbled. Grayson leaned forward and cupped his ear.

"Huh, couldn't hear you!" I shouted this time.

"VALENTINA, now go away!"

"Valentine?" I growled.

"NO, _Valentina!"_

_ "_I'm just going to call you Valentine! It's cuter anyways!" I kicked his shin but he didn't flinch.

"That's not my name you dolt!"

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Author's note- These next couple chapters are going to be flashbacks of Valentine's past! Yay! You will even learn how she met her friends!


	15. Chapter 15

Reviews are always appreciated and Naruto isn't mine!

Thanks for reviewing Miko! ;DDDD

And thank you ChibilnuPup! I'm glad you love it!

If I put something in italics and it doesn't have any '. Then it's Valentine talking to Kisame.

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Chapter 15

_16 years ago._

I gave him my name and this jerk won't even use it! Everyday Grayson meets me at the front of the school and I try to ignore him, but it never works because he'll pester me until I respond to him. Grayson also sits with me at lunch and he always pushes me on the swing set even though the other boys laugh at him. It went on for months like this so today, I figured I would ask why he is so persistent about being around me. We are at the swing set like usual when I popped the question on him.

"Grayson? Why do you want to be with me? Kids make fun of you and I am not nice to you either for that matter." Grayson stopped my swing so he could look straight into my face.

"Because you need a friend, I can tell! You looked so lonely when I saw you the first day!" I blushed crimson.

"N-no I wasn't! I told you then and I'll tell you now I was fine!" Grayson gave me a look that said he knew better.

"Sssuuuuurrreeeee…Valentine, w-where were your parents?" I sneered at Grayson.

"That's none of your business, Carter! But if you must know….They didn't want me. When I came they gave me up." That seems to have shocked him.

"W-w-what? But mommies and daddies love their kids! They don't just _get rid_ of their babies!" I bowed my head so he couldn't see my face.

"Not all of them Grayson, not all." Grayson bolted in front of me and pointed a thumb to his chest with a determined smirk.

"Well, if your mommy and daddy sucked then we will show them how you are _supposed _to treat children! Valentine, I will make you a mommy one day! So you can know what a real family is like!" He reached to me with an open hand.

"G-Grayson…" He smiled at me.

"Yeeess _Mommy?" _I flushed crimson again as I punched his face.

"YOU'RE A MORON!"

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_14 years ago._

Years passed since that day and now we are second graders. I hate to say it but the blonde idiot forced a soft spot into my heart, reserved just for him. I am walking to my house since school let out but on the sidewalk I noticed these 3 boys beating up on some kid in the middle of the path. When I focused on the victim I realized that…_It was Grayson! _I charged without a second thought swinging my fists. The three boys were shocked to see me and once they saw I wasn't afraid to fight they tried to fight back. Clearly they are inexperienced unlike myself, I have 5 foster siblings with a foster dad who can get a little…rough….at times. So to say I can fight is an understatement. I always go for the groin when fighting boys and when these boys got the picture they ran, cupping their family jewels all the way. I knelt down by Grayson then put a hand on his back.

"What the hell were you doing!? You could have got seriously hurt!" Grayson sat up and spat out a tooth. '_Good thing that was a baby tooth.'_

"They said something mean, so I hit one of them in the face. It was fine until all of them started ganging up on me." I shook my head side to side.

"I don't know what they said but you should've dropped it." Grayson snapped his head to look at me. His face is covered in bruises and blood but his rage is still impressive.

"No I shouldn't have dropped it! They were making fun of you! Those jerks even said you aren't pretty! You are very pretty Valentine and I won't let anyone say otherwise!" I gaped at my friend, then continued to sigh and cuff his still sore head.

"Have I ever told you that you lack some brain cells Grayson?"

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_10 years ago._

_'__Holy shit, I can't believe I am in middle school.' _Grayson and I are sitting at study hall totally silent. We have been friends for 6 years, fucking 6 whole years! '_It's crazy how far we have come, honestly he's my best friend now.' _Grayson passed me a note and thankfully in this class no one cares as long as you're quiet. ('-Grayson "-Valentine.)

'_I heard that there is a dance next month, got anyone you want to ask?' _I wrote back.

"_Of course not. -_-'You know I don't give a shit about that kind of stuff."_

_'__Aw c'mon Valentine! You should try it at least once. ;D' _

_ "__It doesn't matter, I don't like anyone in this school."_

_ '__YOU DON'T LIKE MEH! D'8 I am HURT Miss Valentina Juniper Smith! I thought we were going to make cute babies together!' _I almost busted out laughing at his sarcasm. Later on, when we found out how babies are _made_, we kept this little inside joke from the day he declared he was going to make me a mommy.

"_Idiot, you know better." _Grayson didn't write back instantly so I glanced up to check on him. He seemed nervous for some reason and it took him a whole 10 minutes to write back.

_ '__Would, you like to go with me? As a…couple?' _I squinted at the piece of paper as I scratched back.

"_What do you mean a couple?" _The school bell rang but I knew our conversation wasn't over but we have to go to separate classes. We meet up after school anyways so I'll ask him more then…

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I found Grayson on the bleachers at the soccer field just like a usual weekday evening. He's sweating bullets making me cock an eyebrow as I sat down beside him.

"Carter, what has been up with you today?" He took a huge gulp of air before speaking.

"Just, nervous. D-do you want to go with me, Valentine?"

"I still don't understand why you said 'as a couple'. Where are you going with this?" Grayson is blushing like crazy.

"Uh, well. I mean….." He didn't speak anymore but instead…held my hand.

"G-Grayson?" Then it hit me like a side of a brick wall. '_Oh my gosh he is asking me out! FUCKING SPIDERMAN SHOOTING WEBS OUT OF HIS PENIS!' _I blanched while trying to speak.

"A-a-a-a-a-are you f-f-fucking kidding with me?" Grayson reeled back his hand and waved it in front of his face, panicked.

"NO! I promise I am being serious! Valentine you are by far the most AMAZING girl I have ever met! I would NEVER kid about this! We have known each other a long time and I-I….I like you a lot, Valentine." I held my head as it spun. '_I always thought he would want to date one of his fan girls! Not me!' _

"I don't know…what if-?" Grayson caressed my cheek.

"Then we were only meant to be best friends. But I really believe…we are meant for more than friends. Please Valentine, give me a chance?" I gazed deeply into Grayson's ocean blue eyes. '_Are we…really meant for more? I guess there is only one way to find out.'_

"We have to take it slow, but yea. I'll be with you Grayson." That put the most brilliant smile I have ever seen on his face.

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8 years ago

We thought the dance was lame but we have been together ever since then. Grayson kept his promised and took it slow, which is why we still haven't kissed to this day. I don't know why we haven't, we just never have been in…_that_ moment. He took me out on a dinner date today and it was a pretty nice Italian place. He was then walking me home until he decided to veer off the sidewalk into a public park. He found a spot by a big oak tree and then sat down, patting the grass beside him. I sat down as well, very confused with where he was going with this.

"What are we doing Grayson?" He smiled at me.

"Enjoying the sunset. It's Saturday night, right?" I slowly nodded, excepting what he said at face value. '_Sunsets arrree pretty fucking gorgeous.' _Grayson wrapped his arm around my lower back and we both leaned up against the tree as we sat in silence. His hand started messaging my upper thigh causing this tingling feeling to shoot up my leg into my spine. '_Damn, that feels pretty good.' _I sighed at the sensation then rested my head onto his shoulder. He leaned his head on mine as we just sat there enjoying each other's company. The sky darkened and dyed itself all kinds of reds before Grayson spoke up.

"Valentine?" I turned my head to face him.

"Yea-"He cut me with his lips. '_No fucking way…'_ I was afraid our first kiss would be awkward since…well neither of us had kissed before! We are eachother's first boyfriend/girlfriend. But it feels just as natural as breathing. His lips taste like spice and moved so delicately against mine. '_Like chai tea…yea, that's what he tastes like. Chai tea…I really love chai…'_ I moaned a bit at the pleasure. He groaned into my mouth then wrapped his arms tight around me. I laced my fingers into his hair so I could deepen our heated kiss. We stayed like that for a while till Grayson licked my bottom lip, asking for entry I assume. I gasped at the contact and he took his chance. He plunged his tongue into my mouth and pinned me to the ground. His hands held my wrists while his legs straddled my hips. My sex warmed at the contact of his. '_Fuuucckkkk this is sexy. Why didn't we do this sooner?' _We made out for literally HOURS before we called it a day. He separated, gazing lustfully into my eyes.

"I don't think you will ever understand how much I _want_ you right now." I actually fucking giggled like a little school girl.

"I don't know, I think I mmaayy understand just a little bit." He grinned and nibbled at my earlobe. It tickles so I tried to push him off as I laughed my ass off.

"S-s-stop that! You are such a snarky little dick!" Grayson pulled himself from my ear, appearing insulted.

"Hey don't call me a _little _dick! That's an insult to my manhood." I swatted his arm.

"Yea, yea get off me Romeo. If we don't get you home soon your mother will have a conniption." My boyfriend lifted himself then held a hand out to help me up. I took his hand but he pulled me flush against him as he took my mouth again. I felt light headed by the time he finished.

"I don't think I will ever get enough of that. Valentine?"

"Yes?"

"I love you." _That is the first time he ever said he loved me._

"I love you too, but I think you already knew that." He laughed at my bluntness. _Little did I know that in only two short years, to hear those words would be the only thing I would want out of life again._

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(Author's note- This is your one and only warning! GORE, like so much gore that if you have any triggers to it you better skip to the bottom now where I have a quick summary of the basics!)

_6 years ago._

We are underneath a bridge by the road near an ice cream stand. I love ice cream and Grayson knows it so he went to get some for me while I stood about ten feet away watching a music video he wanted me to see. I have my headphones on so I could hear this band called Flyleaf play 'All Around Me.' This girl is a good singer I have to say. Her voice is very high and innocent which is rare to find nowadays. '_Damn I wish I could sing but I suck. Oh well at least I can hear her do it. You know Grayson can sing, maybe when we have kids he can teach them. I sure as hell can't!'_ I was so entranced by the music and my thoughts that I didn't notice the speeding car. Nor did I notice him swerve in my direction. _We would later find out that he blew a 0.2, over twice the legal limit. _I only heard the sound of the band until a force knocked me into the cement wall on the other side of the side walk. My earbuds fell out mid-flight and that's when everything went into slow motion due to my adrenaline rush. It was then when I saw the car. And it was at that moment I realized what pushed me away from road. There in mid-air, is Grayson looking absolutely terrified. His arms are still stretched out as the car came even closer. When he saw that he succeeded at saving me his face became so relieved you could see the tears of joy form in his eyes. _The police report said if he hesitated for even moment I would have died, just one. Single. Moment._ He smiled at me, one last time….before the car made contact. The crunch could be heard a mile away as his bones shatter. Blood painted the place crimson, even coating me. I felt chunks of body matter land across my skin and when I hit the wall his severed head ended up in my lap, completely dead with no life left in his eyes. The car didn't even stop at first. No, he crushed my love even more as he ran him over. His intestine's caught the grill of the vehicle and dragged him on the floor for about 15 feet. _The only reason the man stopped was because Grayson's body broke his engine. The driver had every intention of fleeing. _The scene is gruesome, I sat with my skull bleeding and the head of my dead soul mate. His entire organ system is out on display across the road and when the driver finally came out the man at the ice cream stand started to pound his face in. My eyes are wide, crying waterfalls in silence as I stared into Grayson's eyes. It took me a total of 2 minutes to process, before I screamed my lungs out. I screamed and screamed till I lost voice.

_I tore my esophagus actually, you should have heard it from the surveillance cameras on the bridge. Truly spine chilling Kisame._

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AUTHOR'S NOTE! - Sorry guys, but no omake for this one. I just don't think this chapter should have one. I am crying so hard right now, I hope I'm not the only one! So sorry if I screwed up something. T~T I'm going to go into my corner and cry some more.

Quick summary of last part- Valentine didn't realize that a drunk driver swerved in her direction due to a pair of headphones in her ears. Grayson pushed her out of the way and….well you can probably imagine how the rest went.


	16. Chapter 16

Reviews are always appreciated and Naruto isn't mine!

Thanks for Reviewing AliceV! It was sad and I am so sorry!

Also thank you Corrina, it was hard to write it, it really was. : ( I still have one more chapter of flashback but now at least it will be her getting back on her feet. Thank you again!

If I put something in italics and it doesn't have any '. Then it's Valentine talking to Kisame. If it's in **bold** then its Kisame speaking.

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Chapter 16

_His parent's wouldn't let me go to the funeral. They said it was all my fault he was dead in the first place and they are right. It is all my fault he died. I cursed myself every day and wished to every god I had ever heard of to strike me down. I didn't want to live but if I killed myself then his sacrifice would've been in vain. 3 weeks after the accident I dropped out of school, I then ran away from home…choosing to live on the streets instead of that hell hole of a place I called home. My foster parents weren't very happy about it, but they had 5 other kids to get money from the state so they let me go and never filed me missing. I lived off of scraps and pocket change I found lying around for a long time. I had no motivation to do anything but keep breathing. I didn't want a job, I didn't want friends, I only wanted to spend my days alone in sadness. How I felt like I deserved. I knew throughout our relationship that he was meant for me, a soul mate. So what do you do when you lost the one person in the world that fate chose for you?_

_5 years ago._

I am underneath the highway munching on a half-taco some kid threw on the ground. I only have 2 dollars but that should feed me for the next couple of days. A lady from McDonald's heard about me from the news so every time I go there she gives me a generous discount. While I ate my only meal for the day these other street rats came by. They are three people about my age who look like they have also seen a lot as well. I kept to myself as they started a fire for the night, knowing better than to ever make eye contact with anyone else living on the streets. They used trash they found lying around with an occasional twig for kindling. Once they finished, the three finally took notice of me. Now normally the homeless leave each other alone but sometimes a couple of guys want trouble. Just like these guys. A blonde girl came storming up but I refused to look her in the eyes. She grabbed the front of my shirt while I kept my chin down, trying not to antagonize her.

"Hey girl you got money on you!? If you do cough it up!" I shook my head.

"I don't have anything but this taco, do you want that?" The blonde slapped my face.

"DON'T LIE TO ME! Almost everyone keeps a little change on them! HAND IT OVER." I decided to just give her what she wants. I handed her the cash but she shook me again.

"That can't be it! Where you hiding the rest!?" I finally looked into her eyes so she could see I was being honest. What she saw…made her flinch. _I knew what she saw Kisame. What she saw in my eyes. She saw death, someone without that spark in their heart. Someone who had given up on being anything. My body was a prison for my soul, sealing it away where no one could find it again. I was a phantom of a human being. _She seemed conflicted for a while before she shoved the money back into my pocket and grabbed my wrist.

"C'mon, it's supposed to be cold tonight…" I let the blonde drag me to where her two companions were around the now lit fire. She forcefully shoved my shoulders to make me sit down. The two males gave me some weird looks.

"Amy, I thought you were mugging her? Not inviting her over here." The boys both have brown hair but one has a more golden tone than the other.

"Shut it Jake, she's with us now." The lighter haired boy nodded in approval, noticing whatever 'Amy' saw earlier.

"It will be nice to do something good for once. Hi there hon, my name is Luke." He introduced himself very gently, as if he was talking to a new born. 'Jake' made an indignant noise.

"Why the hell should we take care of her? We already have enough problems let alone whatever the fuck is wrong with this bitch. She looks like a damn zombie!" 'Amy' pointed a finger at 'Jake'.

"Exactly, she looks so depressed that people will _have_ to donate money. How can you look into her eyes without feel pity!? She's perfect!" '_Ah, so she wants to use me to get money….might as well. Not like I have anything better to do with my shitty life.' _I stared blankly at the fire while the two spat about whether I should stay or not but with Luke all for it Jake was left in the dust.

"FINE, but when she betrays us don't come crying to me!"

_It's so weird looking back on that, Jake and I are really close now as you know. Yet at first he fucking hated my guts. But, just like Amy thought, I tripled their donations. He couldn't really complain about that. Amy and Luke tried to cheer me up the whole time we were together. Sadly though, nothing ever worked. I stayed quiet for months while they slowly grew fond of me. Eventually, they started telling me stuff about themselves. Like how Jake use to deal heroine or about Luke who use to gamble until he became so broke he lost his home. The most shocking was Amy, when she confessed that she use to be a prostitute. We were a small group of misfits, and I eventually found myself being more open around them. I started to speak 6 months into our relationship and then even laughed a month after that. The goal for collecting so much money was to put Luke through college. He was the only one of us with a high school diploma, making him the only one who could. When that was done he would work and house us till he got to CEO. At that point he'd hire us on to wherever he owned. This guaranteed us to get great paying jobs. I was so skeptical at first, we were about 5,000 dollars away… until a miracle happened._

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_4 years ago._

_ "_We are so close!" Amy is fist pumping the air. "You ready Luke? Don't let us down!" Luke laughed and rubbed the back of his hair.

"I'm still so surprised we got this far, I was so sure that the bank would have found a way to screw us over by now." Jake patted Luke's back.

"S'long as they have our fucking money they don't give two shits!" Luke seemed doubtful.

"I guess, we still have awhile before we can get 5,000 dollars though." Now I spoke up. Even though I don't think this will work I don't like seeing Luke doubt himself.

"We will fucking get there eventually Luke, and I expect a manager's position when you do." Luke grinned and hugged me.

"You know, you are the only one I have seen who can look cute while dropping the word 'fuck'!" I struggled against his hold but realized I wasn't going anywhere. Jake gasped as if he was insulted.

"You mean I don't look fucking kawaii when I say fuck! C'mon I thought you were gay!" Luke snuggled his face in my greasy hair as we strolled along the sidewalk.

"Just because I am attracted to men doesn't mean I find all of them 'kawaii'. And it also doesn't mean I can't see a girl as cute jack ass." Amy held her chest like she got stabbed.

"Whatever, I see how it is Luke. I get Jake-""YOU BITCH!" "But you tell Valentine she's cute and not me? What happened to loyalty? " Luke released me with an eye roll.

"Whatever guys, you all can go fu-"A scream was heard from a book store down the street from us. We all froze but prepared for a fight due to our instincts. The scream shouted again, this time I noticed that the voice sounded foreign.

"Please NO! I barely have enough to live off of! Please don't do this!" I listened to a male voice reply.

"I don't care about your damn problems, old hag! Give me the cash now!" The lady started crying. '_Shit, do we just walk away? If we leave this woman might die. What are the guys thinking?'_ When I looked at all three of my companions, they seemed just as troubled as me. '_Mary had a little whore, time to make a decision Valentine. Fuck, I was never good at making decisions! That's why I always let Grayson choose what we did-... Grayson…._

_What would you do?'_

I charged into the bookstore without a second thought. After I got past the entrance I saw that the thief was a medium size man holding a knife. The old lady is crying but when she saw me she pointed beside me.

"The bat, child! GET THE BAT!" The weapon is perched against the door way. I grabbed it and faced her attacker. The man cursed under his breath.

"Damn it, I didn't sign up for this!" He ran, trying to get away from us, until I swung and took out his knees.

"FUCK, you little!" He limped up to his feet and tried to stab me. I dodged the blade then swung again. Thanks to the added length of the bat I managed to get a hit to the head, knocking him out. I turned back to the lady for more instruction until she began to crush me in a hug.

"Oh child you don't know the trouble ya just saved me! There must be a way to repay ya!" '_This woman is Jamaican? That's pretty fucking cool.'_

"It's not a problem mis-"She squeezed me even harder.

"Oh no I must ya see! I can't let ma hero walk out without somethin'!' My friends came into the doorway and once the boys saw the man on the ground they both held him down. (Even though he is still unconscious.) Amy is glaring at me LIVID.

"VALENTINE, what the HELL were you thinking running off to a fight without us!? You are in BIG trouble!" The old lady spoke for me.

"Oh child, are these ya friends!? How adorable! You kids don't know how grateful I am to yer Valentine!" Amy chuckled a bit.

"Yea she is pretty cool, but we should be going now. We have to get to Walmart." The old lady let go of me then cocked an eyebrow at Amy.

"Really, you gonna get some groceries girl?" The woman glanced down at Amy's outfit, making Amy fume. _She caught on quick to what we were really doing. We planned on stealing food that day._

"My friend just saved your ass! LAY OFF. What we do at Walmart ain't your business!" Amy grabbed my arm and scolded me. "And YOU! If you try that ever again I will beat your butt like you were my own! I was so scared!" The old lady cleared her throat.

"My, my when I came to this country one of the things I was excited about was not seeing children starve on the streets. But I guess that's everywhere you go. Children, I can't just let ya go without some sort of payment. How about in exchange for your friend's help…I offer ya a deal. I was like you once back home, until a woman ma age helped me out. Now it's my turn. Work at the book store, I have some clothes you can borrow from me and ma husband who passed years ago. I can't pay you much…but I'll let you live inside this building. Upstairs there is a full bathroom and I can afford to get some mats for bedding. It's not a lot, but will ya take it? I owe you more than you could understand." Amy motioned for us to huddle.

"What do you guys think? I think it's too good to be true." Jake nodded.

"I agree Amy, but what if this old woman telling us the truth? With an actual address, decent clothing, and _jobs_. All of us can save together and put Luke through college in no time! That's fucking perfect!" I stared at Amy for a long time, before sighing.

"I think we should do it, it'll take us a decade to get 5,000 at this rate." Luke finally gave his opinion.

"Why not Amy? I don't think this lady will hurt us." Amy gnawed on her lip for a bit.

"I guess you guys are right…" We broke the huddle and Amy spoke for all of us.

"We will take your offer Miss. Thank you." The old lady smiled.

"No problem ma girl! Now let's get you kids cleaned up!" Luke raised his hand. "Yes boy?"

"Shouldn't we call the cops first? This guy is starting to wake up."

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_We called the police to have the guy picked up. After words the woman introduced herself as Bertena but she wanted us to call her Ma. Ma gave us a bunch of clothes with showers and FOOD. Kisame this woman's cooking is still by far the best thing I had ever tasted. I actually got my chicken noodle soup recipe from her. She was amazing, a really generous woman. Because of her help we actually had a home and a job. We had a tip jar on the desk out front along with the change she was able to spare. We still went out and begged but in about a year's time we had enough cash to put Luke through college. He. Worked. His. Ass. Off. Taking both campus and online classes. Ma would help him with his studies since she was an incredibly smart woman. A year in college Luke also got a part time job at a bar called Sundown…sound familiar? He finished college in 2 years flat. Everyone was so excited, until Ma became ill. She never wanted to go to the hospital, no, she always said 'If I die it is because it's my time! I don' need no docta!" We lost her about 7 months before you came. She died smiling Kisame, and that's all that mattered to her. She left the book store to us but we had to sell it. At the same time, Sundown went under. Luke saw the potential in the bar so he bought it with the money we got from the bookstore and hired us all as staff. We worked sometimes up to 15 hour shifts every single day and as you can see we made it work. As time went on it became the business you see today, known throughout Dayton as one of the wildest clubs in Ohio. Jake was able to take his money and follow his true dream to work in a tattoo parlor. All thanks to Ma, she was the last step in making that ludicrous plan work. _

_**That…was an interesting story Valentine. I never would have guessed you lived through all of that.**_

_It's actually pretty funny, because you guys helped me._

_**Us? How?**_

_During my time at the book store I found this story called Naruto. The main character was definitely a likeable character but to me, he is unrealistic. No, the story didn't hold any meaning to me until characters Like Gaara of the Sand and the Akatsuki came along. People who were betrayed by fate, people like me. I lost the one thing that had mattered to me, no, he was taken from me because of another man's selfishness. I took out my pain on myself, when I should have just put it behind me or did something about it. Like you guys do. If something bothers you, you handle it. Instead of becoming what I was. You guys showed me that when you lose the one who fate chose for you…._

_You get the fuck up and don't look back. _

**_*Chuckle*_**

_I haven't been doing that lately, have I?_

_**Nope, but that's something else you should know.**_

_What's that?_

_**You will make mistakes.**_

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Author's note- Yay! After this chapter we will bring the Omakes back! And if you want me to add Omakes from her time with Grayson or Amy/Jake/Luke let me know! I'll be more than happy!


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